


Silver Rings and Golden Hearts

by LacePendragon



Category: RWBY
Genre: Accidental Cuddling, Adoption, Alternate Universe - Fake Married, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Autistic Penny Polendina, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family Drama, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, Minor Angst, Minor Relationships Mentioned in First Author's Note, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, Romance, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Toddlers, Trans penny polendina
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2019-09-17 11:35:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16973874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LacePendragon/pseuds/LacePendragon
Summary: Qrow Branwen is pretty content with his going-nowhere life. He's got a good family, adorable nieces, and a best friend that he'd take on the world for. So, when said best friend, James Ironwood, sits Qrow down and asks if they can get married (legally, not romantically) so that James can adopt a special needs child, Qrow says yes without much hesitation. After all, they've been friends for years, and he'd do anything for James.What's the worst that could happen?But from house inspections, discussions of co-parenting, falling for a second child at the agency, and so much more, Qrow and James both quickly realize that their little scheme can, and will, have lifelong consequences: not just for themselves, but for their soon-to-be children, their friends and family, and everything else in their lives.And, if that's not enough, it seems that something is stirring between the two men, something different from their close friendship. Could this closeness be drawing them toward a different kind of love, or is it just the stress talking?Either way, neither is prepared for the consequences of their plan, nor the way it will change their families, or their feelings, forever.





	1. A Quiet Morning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thetiniestnerd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetiniestnerd/gifts).



> So, I'm back in the Ironqrow saddle, ready to write yet another fake married ( _In the Public Eye_ ) adoption/domestic ( _You and Me_ ) cute slow burn ( _Fruit Loops_ ) AU. This fic is almost entirely inspired by @thetiniestnerd (thanks, love!) and from the preview for V6E8. This volume has reignited my love of Ironqrow in a way very few things could and I am so, so stoked to be writing Ironqrow again. While my other fics (Sunday, Unbeatable) are fun, they don't compare to the passion, emotion, and general rush I get out of writing an Ironqrow focused story. Like, holy crap y'all. It's such a ride.
> 
> I can only hope you all enjoy it as much as I do and I would love, _love_ to hear everyone's thoughts and opinions on the story. It's good to be writing for my OTP again, especially one that makes me so impassioned and emotional.
> 
> Cheers, everyone, and thank you so much for building the hype with me!
> 
> **Silly Notes**  
>  alternative title: "how to convince the mean adoption agency lady that you should be allowed to have a child: a self-help book by James Ironwood" offered up by tootherteeth over on Tumblr. Thanks, tooth!
> 
> **Background/mentioned relationships:**  
>  Summer/Raven/Taiyang - very prevalent  
> Port/Oobleck - minor prevalence  
> Junior/Roman - minor prevalence  
> Glynda/Willow Schnee - extremely minor prevalence  
> Li Ren/An Ren - minor prevalence  
> Kali/Ghira - minor prevalence  
> Ozma/Salem - extremely minor prevalence/mentions

It was a pleasantly cool September morning when Qrow awoke, sprawled out on his bed in his basement bedroom. Feet pounded overhead, revealing the time before he even checked the clock – just passed seven-thirty. He smiled and rolled out of bed, snagging his phone off the end table and stuffing it into the back pocket of his sleep pants.

Yawning, Qrow stretched, getting up onto his toes with his fingertips almost brushing the ceiling. He rubbed at his eyes and smacked his lips, grimacing at the taste of morning breath lingering on his tongue.

Another morning in the STR household. Yang and Ruby were up, getting ready for school; Summer and Taiyang were probably getting ready for work, and Raven was probably making breakfast and lunches for everyone.

With a quiet smile, Qrow shuffled into his downstairs bathroom. He took care of what he needed, brushed his teeth, and washed his face. By then, the noise had lessened to more of a gentle murmur.

He shuffled up the stairs, yawning again, and scrubbed his fingers through his hair, which was slightly damp. When he got to the top of the stairs, he found the door already open and the kitchen filled with the whole family.

Yang and Ruby were at the breakfast table, eating cereal. Yang’s was fruit loops by the look of it, and Ruby was eating some chocolate monstrosity that Qrow was gonna steal a bowl of later. Summer was sipping coffee, already deep into reading her weekly schedule on her tablet. Taiyang was slumped half against the counter, yawning as he sipped at his coffee, and Raven was leaning against the open backdoor, watching Zwei run around the backyard.

“Unca Qrow!” cheered Ruby, throwing her hands into the air. Her spoon went flying, smacking off the window before clattering to the floor. She winced. “Oops.”

Raven sighed and grabbed the spoon off the floor, tossing it back to Ruby.

“Raven! It’s dirty,” said Summer, furrowing her brow and frowning. “Grab her a new one.”

Raven rolled her eyes and made a point of watching Ruby, who wasn’t listening, go back to eating her cereal with the spoon.

“The floor’s fine,” said Raven, shrugging. “I’d eat off it.” She leaned over and pressed a kiss to Ruby’s hair. “Besides, she’s five. She doesn’t care.”

Yang wrinkled her nose. “Ew. That’s what plates are for!” she protested. Raven chuckled and leaned over to ruffle Yang’s hair, which was pulled back into a ponytail this morning. Yang pouted and swatted at Raven’s hands, but Raven simply stepped back, out of her reach.

“Too slow, little dragon,” said Raven, winking. Yang rolled her eyes and went back to her cereal. Raven chuckled and turned her gaze to Qrow, an easy, crooked smile on her face. “Hey, little brother. Didn’t get enough beauty sleep, I see.”

Qrow rolled his eyes and crossed the room to lightly swat at her shoulder. “Thirteen minutes,” he replied. Raven snorted and flicked his shoulder. Qrow just kept going and grabbed the coffee pot to pour himself a cup. “Besides, we both know I’m the better-looking twin.”

“Says the single twin to his sister with two partners,” replied Raven. Qrow cast a glance over his shoulder and smiled at Raven. She chuckled and winked at him. The whole bit was rehearsed, repeated every week or so to remind each other of their domestic lives. It was just another piece of an already peaceful morning and routine.

“Mama?” called Ruby, swinging her legs in her chair. Raven turned and raised her eyebrows at Ruby, who giggled. “We gotta pick my clothes!” She hopped out of the chair, dropping the few inches to the ground, and half-ran to Raven, hugging her around the legs. “Help?”

Raven chuckled and ruffled Ruby’s hair. “Sure thing, baby girl. Let’s get you dressed.” Ruby cheered and grabbed Raven’s hand, dragging her out of the kitchen and toward the stairs.

Yang dropped her own spoon and whined, wiggling her yellow, metal fingers on her right hand. “Daaaaaaddy,” she called, pouting at him. “My elbow hurts.”

Taiyang nodded and straightened up, yawning. “Sure thing, sweetie. Let me grab my tools and we’ll get you all fixed up.”

Yang whined again and slid down further in her chair, scowling at her metal fingers. “It hurts,” she mumbled into the collar of her nightshirt. “Why does it hurt?”

Summer crossed the room and kneeled in front of Yang, gently taking her metal fingers and pressing a kiss to each one. “You just need a little elbow grease, sweetie,” said Summer, before pressing a kiss to the back of Yang’s hand. “But we’ll make the pain go away, I promise.”

Yang sniffled, her big, purple eyes filling up with tears. “Do you think Uncle James could help?” she asked, staring up at Summer.

Summer cast a glance to Qrow, who pulled his phone out of his pocket and started texting James. He nodded to her and she nodded back.

“Of course. Uncle James knows all about prosthetics. He can come over and double check everything after your Daddy helps,” she said. She soothed Yang’s hair, gently stroking the top of her head. “We’ll make sure you’re all better.” Summer hesitated a moment and pressed her lips together. “What do you think about school, today?”

Yang shrugged with her left shoulder, then reached out with her left hand to rub at her right elbow. Her cheeks were a dark pink, the flush spreading further as she rubbed at her arm. “I dunno. I hurt really bad.”

Summer kissed Yang’s forehead. “Okay, sweetie. If you need to stay home with Mama, you can. Okay?” Yang nodded and rubbed at her teary eyes.

“Okay,” she mumbled.

“Good girl,” whispered Summer. She pressed another kiss to Yang’s forehead and got to her feet just as Taiyang came back into the room. He approached Yang with soft words and a softer smile, kneeling down to her height before setting down his toolbox.

Qrow followed Summer out of the room, sending off another text – James wasn’t answering, probably busy with some work thing or something – as Taiyang helped Yang take off her shirt so he could get better access to her arm.

“Busy morning,” commented Qrow, shoving his phone back into his pocket. He looked at Summer, who sighed and leaned back against the wall of the living room, her eyes closing. “You all right?”

“Raven’s having nightmares again.” Summer reached up and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Yang’s arm needs to be adjusted because she’s grown another inch, and if she grows any further, we’re going to need a completely new arm.” She shook her head, the let it fall forward so that her chin was pressed almost into her chest. “It’s a lot to handle, especially with both of them dealing with their own demons.”

Both of them meant Taiyang was having a time too, but wasn’t saying anything. Probably nightmares about the accident. Probably more guilt.

Not that it was anything Raven and Tai couldn’t handle, especially with the supports they had in and out of the house, but it always took them some time to get a handle on their own heads. And, until they did, Yang and Ruby’s problems, small as they might be, leaned into Summer, rather than Raven and Taiyang.

The stress of five people, herself included, plus a full-time job that required at-home work. Qrow didn’t envy Summer, but he did worry about her. Hopefully he could help her out in whatever ways he could.

“I’ve got nothing going on today, I can stick around with her, too,” said Qrow. “And I can pick up Ruby after school if you need me to.”

Summer smiled. “Thank you, Qrow.” She tugged at a strand of hair, which was long enough now that he figured she’d cut it soon – closer to her shoulders than her chin. “It’s not as if it’s the end of the world. All of the problems are small and manageable. It’s just that there’s a lot of them.”

“I get it,” said Qrow. Before he could say anything else, his phone went off, buzzing against his butt. He pulled it out and swiped open the texts.

_‘I can be over in five. I want to talk to you as well, after everyone’s gone, if that’s all right with you.’_

Qrow cocked his head at the text, frowning. Whatever it was, James sounded pretty serious. He shrugged.

_‘Alright, I’ll be here. Thanks.’_

Summer sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, grimacing. “Speaking of problems, I need to see an optometrist soon. I think I need glasses. Add that to the list of things I don’t have time for.”

Qrow slipped an arm around Summer’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze. “Deep breaths. Tai’s getting his anxiety meds upped, plus he’s seeing the counsellor twice a week now, and Raven just switched her meds to something stronger, plus she’s got the whole CBT going on. Give them a week and they’ll be fine, maybe two, tops. Plus, Raven is happy to do the driving you and I can’t.” He pressed a kiss to her hair and smiled at her. “Until then, you got me, and James, if you need him.”

With a weary smile, Summer nodded to him. “That’s true. Thank you.” She cast a glance to the kitchen, a frown pinching her face. “I’m not sure what we’d do without ‘Uncle James’. Since Yang’s accident…” Summer trailed off, looking at the floor. “I don’t know how we would have managed…”

“Speaking of nightmares,” murmured Qrow, pulling Summer into a tight hug. “Deep breaths, Summer, like I said. Deep breaths. You’ve got supports. Reach out and talk to them. Get Raven to drive you to work, I’m sure that’ll help.”

Summer nodded. “Yeah, thanks Qrow. I’m just tired. You know how I get.” She shrugged, as if that explained everything. It didn’t. They’d all been through a lot in the last few months. But hey, things were getting better all the time.

That was what was important.

“I do,” said Qrow, he patted her shoulder. “Now, go help your daughter. I’ll unlock the door for James.”

Summer laughed, some of her lightness returning to her. “I don’t know what we’re going to do when that man finds a husband. He’s not exactly going to be our house handyman anymore.”

Qrow snorted. “If you think I’ll let any man come between me and James, you’re crazy.”

Summer grinned, turning to face Qrow as she walked backward toward the kitchen. “You could always marry him,” she teased.

“Pretty sure if I was gonna fall for the guy, I would’a done it in the last eight years,” said Qrow, drily. He rolled his eyes. “If you want a love story, read a book.”

“I’m just teasing,” said Summer, still smiling. Qrow smiled back. Yeah, he knew. It was their routine, the teasing. He was Uncle Qrow, James was Uncle James, to the kids. That meant some funny jokes, seeing as James was family through his friendship with Qrow. Although, he was pretty damn close to all of them and had been for years. Especially the kids. James would tear down the world for Yang and Ruby.

“Yeah, yeah,” said Qrow. “I know.” He yawned and shuffled off to the door, listening to Summer’s voice as it switched from Sister-In-Law tone to Mom tone. A cute switch, barely noticeable, with lots of little encouraging noises.

Qrow smiled, stuffing his thumbs into the waistband of his pants, and moved through the living room and into the foyer. He reached it just as James did, visible through the window in the door, and pulled it open for him. In the background, Zwei barked and Ruby squealed in laughter, still upstairs.

“Morning, Jim,” said Qrow. He stepped back and let James take the lead into the house. “She’s in the kitchen.”

“Morning, and I figured. Thanks,” said James. Despite the cool morning, he didn’t wear a jacket and the sleeves of his button-down were rolled up to just below his elbows, leaving his arms, one flesh and blood and one silver and metal, exposed to the elements.

James had polished the casing of his prosthetics, recently. It shone more brightly than usual under the lights of the foyer. Qrow preferred this casing to the old one. The old one had been bulky and inhuman, this one was solid and seamed, designed to be a perfect, metal mirror to the bulk and shape of his left arm. His own prosthetics weren’t as new or human-like as Yang’s, but James had always said he preferred it that way.

Besides, changing them was literal hell.

Qrow followed after James, not thinking until the last moment that Yang was probably still shirtless and might have wanted her privacy.

He reached out to call James back, but the kitchen door swung open and then they were both in it.

Thankfully, Yang had thrown on one of Tai’s tank tops, leaving her arms exposed but herself covered. Qrow sighed. Not that there was anything wrong with a seven-year-old running around shirtless, but James wasn’t one of her parents, and it was always nice to let her know and have a choice.

“Good morning, Yang,” said James in a soft voice. He knelt in front of Yang, resting his metal hand on her knee. “I hear you’re having some trouble with your arm.”

Yang reached up and rubbed at her prosthetic elbow with her left hand. She frowned, her hair out of its ponytail and now hanging in her face. “It hurts really bad,” she mumbled, her face scrunching up into a wince and tears pricking her eyes again. “I dunno why.”

James frowned and gave a little hum. “Well, is it all right if I check it out?” Yang nodded, and James gently took her arm in one hand, studying it closely.

Qrow watched, not wanting to get in the way, as James undid the panels around her elbow and exposed all the mechanics inside. He had his own tools, though he kept Taiyang’s close as well, and chose from them as he worked, murmuring soft words to Yang that Qrow couldn’t quite make out.

After a few minutes, Taiyang shuffled over to Qrow, his arms folded across his chest, his shoulders tense, and his face marred by a worried look made of knit brows, pursed lips, and soft eyes.

“Thank God for James,” murmured Taiyang, his voice low enough that Yang and James didn’t react.

Qrow nodded. “She’ll be fine.” His own words were soft, more meant for reassurance than anything else. Of course, Yang would be fine. But Taiyang was her dad, and after the car crash a few months back, the very thing which made Taiyang refuse to get behind the wheel of a car again and made getting Yang to school in the morning an entire endeavour (though no one blamed her, really), he’d become more overprotective than he’d already been.

At least Ruby was still upstairs. She always hated seeing Yang like this: exposed, vulnerable, and terrified. Qrow knew the feeling. He and Raven were twins, but it’d worked the same way for them as kids. If Raven was fine, everything was fine, if Raven wasn’t fine, then the world was ending.

No wonder Raven so readily kept Ruby, energetic and shrieking as she was, upstairs until she was given the all-clear. She understood it. They all did.

They’d had months to figure it out, after all.

God, he was just glad they weren’t all trading off who was camping out in the hospital room anymore. That had been something he _never_ wanted to repeat. He couldn’t imagine what it had done to Ruby.

“All right,” came James’ voice, several minutes later, and loud enough now for them both to hear. Taiyang and Qrow’s heads swung around in unison, focus returning to James and Yang. “How does it feel now?” He’d put everything back into place, making it look like he’d never touched her arm.

Yang moved her arm with slow and careful motions, her eyebrows pinched together over her wrinkled nose. She winced as she bent her elbow a few times, but the expression faded to something more tired after a moment.

“Okay, I guess,” said Yang, still pouting. She wiggled her fingers and dropped her head, hair hiding her eyes. “I don’t wanna go to school.”

Taiyang took over, shifting to kneel next to James. “Is it the pain or is it something else?”

“Pain,” mumbled Yang. “I can’t play when I hurt, and it sucks.” She stared at Taiyang with big eyes. “Can I stay home? Please?”

Taiyang sighed and reached out to brush her hair away from her face. “Of course, sweetie. Mama and Uncle Qrow are gonna be home today, so they’ll make sure you’re okay, all right?”

Yang nodded and slid off her chair, shuffling toward the stairs. “I’m gonna go tell Mama.” She didn’t lift her head as she walked, nor did she acknowledge Qrow as she walked by him. “Thank you, Uncle James.”

The three men watched her go, each wearing a different expression. After a moment, Taiyang sighed, his shoulders slumping and his entire body seemingly drooping as he got to his feet. He said nothing and stared at the floor, his hands quivering.

Qrow crossed the few steps between them and pulled Taiyang into a hug, pressing a kiss just above his ear on the side of his head. “She’ll be okay,” he whispered into Taiyang’s ear. “So will you. Everyone has off days, you know that.”

“He’s right,” said James, shifting to rest a hand on Taiyang’s shoulder. “You’re both doing well – much better than I was, in fact.”

Taiyang nodded and stepped back from Qrow, sniffling and swiping at his eyes. “Yeah,” he agreed, “she just needs time. I know. Thanks, guys.” He set to work on clearing the breakfast plates.

James and Qrow’s eyes met and James nodded toward the open backdoor of the house. Qrow nodded and slipped on the flip flops he kept at the door for picking up Zwei poop, and followed James out to the little bench under the tree in the back corner.

“So, what’s up?” asked Qrow, leaning back in the bench with his arms folded behind his head. “You seem tense.”

James sighed, looking from the tree, to the house, to Zwei prancing around the yard – anywhere but at Qrow.

“Jim,” said Qrow, reaching out and resting a hand on his knee. “Come on, you know you can’t hide anything from me. Talk.”

James shifted toward Qrow, clasping his hands together, and took a deep breath.

“Will you marry me?”


	2. The Proposal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there was in fact, seven hours between the postings of the first and second chapters. Don't expect that going forward, but I am just so damn excited!!!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who left kudos/bookmarks/comments/reblogs on Tumblr. I'm so glad you liked it and I really hope you keep liking it!! Cheers!

Qrow blinked a few times, then pinched himself to make sure he hadn’t suddenly gone _crazy._

“You wanna repeat that?” he asked, squinting at James with his head cocked to one side. He stuck his finger in one of his ears, wondering if maybe he’d misheard. There was no fucking way that had just happened. Nope. He’d fallen into Wonderland or something.

What in the _fuck_ was going on today? First all the nightmares, then the kids were upset, and now James was apparently proposing to him? Someone must have put some shit in the water. Maybe heroin.

“Because I swear you just asked me to marry you.”

James’ gaze was steady. “I did.”

Qrow stared back. “What the _fuck_ , James?”

James winced and rubbed the back of his neck with his left hand, casting his glance toward the house. After a moment, he sighed and turned back to Qrow, visibly steeling himself before he spoke.

“You know I’ve been trying to adopt for almost a year now,” said James. Qrow nodded, narrowing his eyes and wrinkling his nose in curiosity. “Well, I’m almost there. I’ve found a little girl I’d love to adopt, I’ve had my police check, the adoption agency thinks we get along well, it’s all going great.” He paused, sighed, and continued, “There’s just one little problem.”

Qrow frowned. “Okaaay,” he said, slow and drawn out. “I’m guessing this is related to the _proposal_?” His voice cracked on the last word. He couldn’t get the shock out of his voice. Was Summer up to something? She’d always wanted them to get together for some damn reason. Maybe it was some kind of joke. Though Qrow didn’t really didn’t the point in it, considering he was more confused than anything else.

“They don’t want to allow a single man to adopt a special needs child,” said James, his gaze falling to his lap. He rested both hands near his knees, the cool knuckles of his right-hand brushing Qrow’s. “In order to adopt her, I need to be married.”

Qrow blinked. What?

“And… I _might_ have panicked,” continued James. He grimaced, looking up at Qrow for only a moment. _What?_

“Panicked?” echoed Qrow, raising both eyebrows.

“I told them I was married, and we’d lost our license,” said James, wincing as he got to the end of his sentence. Qrow stared, still trying to put the pieces together. _WHAT?_

James continued, oblivious. “So, what I’m asking, is if you’ll marry me, for love, of course, but the love of a child, as opposed to each other. Well, also each other, seeing as we’re friends, but not _that_ sort of love, of course.”

Qrow opened his mouth to reply, but James kept rambling on.

“And I know it’s ridiculous, of course I do, but I can’t figure out any other way to keep Penny. She’s _perfect_ , Qrow. She’s everything I ever wanted.” His words stumbled over one another and his hands clenched in his lap. “But without you, I can’t have her. I can’t help her – raise her – to become the amazing woman I know she can be.” His gaze flicked to Qrow and held, determination making them burn like a dark, ocean tinted fire. “I know this will completely change your life—”

“James.”

“—And I know that it’s not perfect. Of course, it’s not. You have your own life, after all. And you wouldn’t be able to have it, after this, at least, not for a long while. You’d have to move in with me, do the interviews with me, the house inspection—"

“James.”

“—Of course, it wouldn’t stop there, either. Penny would think of you as a second father. She’d expect certain things, like finding us together if she came into my room in the night after a nightmare—” Qrow blinked. Now _that_ was something he hadn’t considered. “—But I really do think it’s the best option for me at this moment. Of course, I might be able to take it to court and try and appeal, show them that I am capable of taking care of her on my own, but that would be an entire mess on its own—”

“James.”

Finally, James seemed to notice Qrow was trying to talk to him. He stopped dead, midsentence, and stared at Qrow with wide eyes and trembling fingers, despite his clenched fists.

Qrow reached out and rested his hand atop one of James’, allowing the connection to calm the shaking in James’ hands for a few seconds before he spoke.

“From what I got out of that, I’d kind of be like her other dad, then,” said Qrow, carefully picking his words and speaking them as slow as he dared. “That’s not something that goes away overnight. That kid would be in it for the long haul with both of us as her dads. Are you sure that’s something you want?”

James rested his other hand atop Qrow’s and smiled at him with watery eyes. “I can’t think of anyone I’d rather co-parent with.” James’ voice was so earnest, so soft, that it knocked the air from Qrow’s lungs and left him floundering, on a bench, in a backyard that suddenly seemed too large and too small at once.

_A kid._

He could have a kid of his _own_. His nieces would have a friend, right next door.

Someone, some tiny child would think he was the best in the world, would call him Dad, just like Ruby and Yang did for Taiyang.

“You’re my best friend, Qrow. I’m happy to share the role of being a father with you, if that’s something you’re okay with.” James’ words didn’t raise in volume, but they rang through Qrow’s head, regardless. “I know it’s not ideal, but…”

“I think it is,” said Qrow, his voice hoarse. He added his other hand to the hand sandwich and squeezed. James squeezed back. Qrow managed a smile despite his trembling emotions. “I’d love to be a dad, Jim, you know that. And if you’re all right with this—”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” said James, smiling at him.

Qrow’s smile strengthened. “Me neither.” He tilted his head to one side and raised both eyebrows at James. “So, together? We raise this kid together, as, what? Friends? Husbands?”

“Both, I suppose,” said James, his smile spreading into a giddy grin. “Parent-teacher conferences, first days of school—”

“—Flus, colds, and everything else,” added Qrow.

“And eventually, first kisses, first dates, first loves. Yes, we’d go through everything with her, and with each other.”

Qrow leaned back on the bench, taking his hands back to scrub them over his face and through his hair. He let out a low whistle, staring up at the sky through the rustling leaves above them both. He had a hard time believing that less than an hour ago, he’d been waking up and thinking the biggest part of his day was gonna be picking Ruby up from kindergarten.

Now, he stood at what was pretty much a literal fork in the road. On one side, he had his normal life, with his nieces, his sister, his in-laws, and his basement dwelling. Unemployed, unmotivated, and going nowhere fast. On the other side, he had this marriage – this very fake, very strange marriage – with James, and the ability to become a father. To help raise and co-parent a kid that James was more than willing to let Qrow call his own.

“It’s a lot,” said Qrow, his voice still hoarse. “And I’ve got questions before I say anything.”

James nodded, barely visible in the periphery of Qrow’s vision. “Of course, anything you need.” He sounded breathless. Was that from anxiety or excitement? Qrow couldn’t tell. Could barely parse out the differences in tone against the roaring in his ears.

“So, we’d both be her dads,” said Qrow.

“Yes,” said James, nodding. “If you’d like her to call one of us something modified, like Ruby and Yang do with Raven and Summer, we can talk about that, though I would prefer the title of ‘dad’ if only one of us can have it.”

Qrow snorted. “Well, yeah, she’s gonna be your kid. I’m gonna be, what, an uncle-dad, a glorified houseguest?” Even though James had said they’d be equals, Qrow couldn’t fight the tightness in his chest that forced out the words. There was no way. This was James’ _dream_ , he wouldn’t so easily twist it around to fit Qrow, even if James was his best friend.

“You’d be her dad, like I said,” said James, his voice going firm. It was his turn to reach out, and he rested his right hand on Qrow’s shoulder, his cool fingers brushing his collarbone. “I’m not doing this without doing it as equals, Qrow. We’ve been friends for almost a decade, and I’ve considered us equals the entire time. This won’t change anything.”

Qrow rolled his head to one side, giving James a flat look that said more than he felt capable of.

James sighed. “Alright,” he conceded, “perhaps it will change some things – the perception of our relationship, to be certain. Most will assume our marriage came out of long hidden feelings and what-have-you.” James rolled his eyes and Qrow followed. Right, because they hid _anything_ from each other. Fuck, they weren’t teenagers. Drama like that was beneath them. “But you’ll still be my friend, and my partner in all that we do. We’ll just… have to adjust to the rest.”

Qrow chuckled and pushed himself so that he sat up properly once more. “And tell Summer, Tai, and Raven the truth.” He huffed. “Yeah,” he agreed. “It’d be a hell of a change.” He hesitated, then pushed on, “What about the kid, Jim? What if she finds out the marriage is a scam? You want to raise a kid with a lie?”

“I don’t see the lie,” said James, frankly. “You’re my best friend and I’m not lying when I say that I love you.” Qrow’s ears flushed at the easy admission. It’d never come as easy to him, for a few reasons. “A marriage, in the eyes of the law at least, is the joining of two people.” At this, both of them rolled their eyes. They both knew the three adults in the house in-front of them were just as married as anyone else.

James continued, “There’s no law that says it must be for romantic love – plenty of people marry for tax reasons, for convenience, for citizenship, for safety.” He shrugged. “Frankly, if she ever _does_ ask, when she’s older, we can simply explain that we married each other for love, but not necessarily the love she would associate with marriage.”

Qrow raised his eyebrows. “You think that’ll work with the adoption agency?”

With a sigh, James shook his head. “Not in the least,” he said, “I inquired about that, without giving myself away, and they said that they look into the authenticity of marriages. We’d…”

“Have to fake being in love, at least for a little while,” finished Qrow. He thought about the kid, about the check-ins, about the interviews and the in-home inspections. “Or a long while.”

“Probably closer to a long while,” James confessed, his gaze flicking back to the house. Qrow followed his gaze and found Raven watching them through the window, her eyes narrowed. Qrow lifted a hand to her and nodded to let her know things were fine, even if he wasn’t sure they _were._ Raven nodded, but her eyes narrowed further, and she turned and walked away from the window. Presumably, she was headed to drive the kids to school, Qrow figured it was about that time. He probably should’ve gone back in to drive Tai to work, but he’d understand.

Besides, the five of them fit in the SUV just fine. Tai could sit in the back with the girls for one morning – he preferred it anyway.

“You up for that?” asked Qrow, looking at James. He raised one eyebrow, his head cocked a little to one side, and he watched James with a half-skeptical expression. “You haven’t dated in six years, Jim, not since before your accident.”

Seemingly without realizing, James touched the spot under his shirt, near his collarbone, where his extensive prosthetics started. James winced and looked away. They weren’t exactly the sorest topic in James’ repertoire, but Qrow knew it wasn’t his favourite either. But it needed to be asked, especially if there was gonna be some level of PDA to this whole thing, at least for the first, well, who knew how long.

“I suppose I’ll have to be,” said James, his voice giving away nothing.

Qrow narrowed his eyes. “That’s not an answer.” He stabbed a finger in James’ direction. “So, give me a proper one.”

“Yes,” said James, firmer this time. “I’m up for it. It’s _you_ , Qrow. You know me better than anyone else, and you’ve never judged me, even when half my body went from flesh and blood to steel and titanium.”

“And aluminum,” added Qrow, flicking James on the nose. James wrinkled his face and swatted Qrow’s hand away.

“And aluminum,” conceded James. He sighed and rubbed a hand through his hair, a gesture he’d long since picked up from Qrow. “You’ve seen me at my worst, at my best, and everything in between, so yes, Qrow, I can honestly say I could handle it. Can _you_? You haven’t exactly had a good track record with dating.”

Qrow narrowed his eyes. “If you’re asking if I can handle being celibate…”

“Of that I have no doubt,” said James, easily. He shook his head. “Do you really think I’d question your loyalty? You know what’s at stake, and, besides, you’re a good man.”

Qrow smiled. “Yeah, thanks.” He coughed and found another thought bothering him. “What if we _do_ fall in love?”

James’ eyes went wide and Qrow backpedaled, realizing how that sounded.

“With other people,” he added, shaking his head. Maybe Summer’s teasing was getting into their heads, if they both assumed _that_ , first. “What happens then?”

James frowned. “I don’t know. I suppose if it ever happens, we’ll… have to talk about it, like any other married couple.” He sounded unsure, and Qrow knew why. They _weren’t_ going to be like any other married couple. That made this whole thing more complicated.

He switched tracks, sensing James’ discomfort.

“What about the marriage? Won’t they notice we only _just_ got married and not whenever you said?”

With a quiet cough, James said, “Not if the lady at the courthouse is sympathetic to gay marriages and lost marriage licenses and could be convinced we’ve been married for years and simply lost the legal documentation, and thus will backdate the license for us.” He looked at Qrow with an expression that Qrow couldn’t place but reminded him of whenever Ruby got caught sneaking cookies before dinner – shame, but no regret. Triumph masked by embarrassment.

Qrow blinked. “You’re a _fucking genius_ ,” he breathed, grinning. “You really have thought all this out?”

“Everything but your reaction,” replied James, twisting his hands together in his lap. “You were the only outlier.”

Cocking both eyebrows as high as he could, Qrow tried not to smirk. “Really?” he asked, as dry as he could manage. “You couldn’t imagine what I, your best friend, would say to you when you offer us a way to get something we both want – something that is your _lifelong_ dream? Really?”

“Marriage is a big step, Qrow,” said James in the same voice he did for the girls when they were misbehaving and he was trying to teach them some valuable lesson they didn’t care about. “It never pays to assume things about other people in such serious situations.”

Qrow rolled his eyes. “Shut up and ask me to marry you, Jim.”

James let out a sharp laugh that quickly dissolved into something between a snicker and a giggle. He grinned at Qrow with a hopeful expression.

“Really?” he asked. “You will?”

“You gotta ask first,” teased Qrow, grinning as cockily as he could.

James sighed and took both of Qrow’s hands in his own. “Qrow Branwen, light of my life, best friend I’ve ever had, and most fearsome pain in my _ass_ ,” Qrow grinned, “will you do the honour of marrying me, so we can be fathers together?”

Qrow grinned and leaned forward to kiss James on the cheek. James started, one hand lifting to touch the spot as he stared at Qrow with wide eyes.

“’Course I’ll fuckin’ marry you,” said Qrow, still grinning. “You better have rings.”

James laughed and reached into his back pocket. He pulled out a little bag and shook its contents onto his palm. Three rings: two weddings bands and an engagement ring.

Qrow took one of the wedding bands and held out his hand so James could slide the engagement ring onto one finger, then the wedding band. Qrow slipped James’ onto his hand a moment later.

“Thank you,” said James, smiling at Qrow with tear-filled eyes. Qrow leaned forward and let James yank him into the tightest hug he’d had in a long time. “Thank you so, so much, Qrow. You have no idea what this means to me.” His voice broke as he spoke and Qrow smiled into James’ shoulder, patting him on the back.

“Yeah, I do,” said Qrow, his voice soft and gruff with emotion. “And you’re welcome, Jim. You know I’d do anything for you.” After a moment, he pulled back from the hug and grinned at James. “Now, let’s go lie to a courthouse.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and feedback are love! Please let me know what you think!


	3. A Game of Dress-Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every time I sit down and write a chapter, the opening of this fic gets even longer. I'm pretty sure the set-up to getting the kids takes like 8-10 chapters. Thankfully, I'm pumping them out like a mad-person, so it won't take long to get there.
> 
> Hey! I did say this was a slow burn, and this initial development is super important, so I don't want to overlook it! Better to enjoy this first bit than regret not spending enough time on it.
> 
> Anyway, thanks to everyone who is supporting the fic both here and on Tumblr, y'all mean the world to me and I'm so glad to see people are still interested in Ironqrow! Especially with the promise of them being in the same room again, this volume. God, I can't wait!!
> 
> Cheers, and enjoy the chapter!

As it turned out, lying to the courthouse was not as dramatic or scheming as Qrow thought it would be. Instead, it first involved James insisting he dress in something nice, then disappearing across the street to his own house, so that he could dress nicer as well.

Qrow sighed, staring at his pretty pitiful selection of dress clothes. He rarely had a reason to look nice _and_ classy. Instead, his twenties had been filled with glitter, leather, and too many belts and chains to argue against Raven’s “you definitely have a fetish” comments whenever he dressed to go out to clubs. As he’d gotten near thirty, he’d tossed a lot of those clothes, but enough of them remained for Qrow to “relive his youth” as Raven put it, sarcastically, if he wanted to.

Which meant that his dress clothes and his old club clothes were smooshed together. Which was… less than ideal. He just hoped his only pair of dress pants wasn’t covered in glitter and regret.

With a frustrated noise, Qrow dug into his wardrobe, trying to find those damn pants – and hoping they still fit him. He hadn’t put them on in almost four years, but he also hadn’t changed much in that time. So, unless the wardrobe somehow had magically shrunk his clothes, they were probably fine.

But first, he had to get to them.

Glitter pants, leather pants, leather vest, those were leather belts, oh and those were chains and wrist cuffs – attached, which meant no one was _ever_ seeing them – mesh top, that was a _thong_ , oops, and there were his dress pants.

He pulled them out with a triumphant “aha!” and held them up. They were surprisingly undamaged and wrinkle free. Qrow cast a glance back to his wardrobe. Maybe it _was_ magic. Good magic, at least. Well, Summer had bought it, so that stood to reason. The woman was like the world’s best good luck charm.

Qrow frowned at his dress pants. They _looked_ like they’d still fit, but he still didn’t have a shirt to go with them. In fact, he was pretty sure he didn’t own a dress shirt. Sure, he had some button-downs, but nothing that was for _marriage_ , even if it was a faulty marriage. He was pretty sure James would kill him if he showed up at the courthouse in dress pants and a band t-shirt.

He wondered if he should shower, but he smelt fine and his hair was its usual combination of bedhead and deliberate mess.

Qrow cast another look at his wardrobe and frowned. Well. That was a dead end. But then again, he wasn’t the _only_ adult guy in the house. Taiyang was a little broader, but Qrow could probably fit into one of his old dress shirts. The guy had always dressed in tighter clothes, especially when they were young. Always trying to look more buff than he was.

He trudged up the stairs, to the kitchen, dress pants thrown over his shoulder, and hit the top of the stairs before he heard the TV and realized that he and James couldn’t go to the courthouse yet. Yang was home and watching cartoons. He’d checked in on her when he’d come inside, but she’d seemed fine, so he hadn’t worried.

And there was no god damn way he was getting her in a car today, and that was even if he _wanted_ his niece and goddaughter to watch him and James lie to the government to adopt a child.

…Which sounded so, so much worse when he put it that way and holy shit, if they got caught, they were probably going to jail for the next _forever._ So, it was a very, very good thing that technically nothing they were doing was illegal, just… stretching the truth.

He hoped, anyway. James was smart. He’d been military. There was no way he’d go against the government if there was any chance of getting caught. Right?

Right.

Qrow shook his thoughts loose and headed into the living room, where Yang was sprawled, still in one of Tai’s extra-long tank tops and her own shorts, on the couch next to a ten pack of juice pouches and several kid sized bags of potato chips. Zwei, their tiny corgi puppy, was asleep on her lap. Every exhale he made a little huff that had Qrow fighting a smile.

“Hey, kiddo,” said Qrow. “How’re you doing?”

Yang tilted her head back to stare up at him with soft eyes and a slight frown. “Blue’s Clues is on.” She blinked at him, her purple eyes kind of blank. “I like him.”

It wasn’t an answer, but it was probably the closest he was going to get, at the moment. With a smile, Qrow shuffled over to Yang and pressed a kiss to the crown of her hair and squeezed her shoulder.

“All right, shout if you need me,” he said, nuzzling her head with his nose.

He straightened up and headed up the stairs, winding through the hallway to the master bedroom where Summer, Raven, and Taiyang slept.

The door was half-open and Qrow stepped in. It was a pretty good room, not as big as his, but that was because he slept in a basement. The whole place was dominated by a massive, custom made, four poster bed with gold and pink translucent curtains draped around the corners. Two dressers sat, one on either side of the bed, plus a short one at the end of the bed, plus two end tables. There were some mirrors, and that was about it.

‘Bedroom’ was pretty damn accurate.

Qrow headed for the dresser at the end of the bed and cracked it open, digging around to try and find some dress shirts.

He found t-shirts, sweaters, graphic tees, sweatshirts, tank tops, but no dress shirts. Damn. Where the hell else would they be?

Qrow straightened up and scratched the top of his head. If _he_ were a functional adult sharing a living space with two women with a love of fashion, where would he keep his dress shirts?

The thought struck Qrow a moment later: the mini closet in the bathroom. If Raven and Summer had the walk-in closet, it made sense for Taiyang to snag the space in the bathroom for hanging things. Especially since steam kept shirts from wrinkling.

Qrow stepped around some pillows and books into the bathroom and pulled open the closet within.

Aha! Sure enough, there were Taiyang’s dress shirts. Qrow dug through them with a slight frown and found a charcoal grey one that he liked. As he went to shut the closet, he noticed a black vest with silver buttons that perfectly matched his dress pants, as well as a black tie. He grinned and grabbed those as well. He was gonna look sexy as _hell._

Not that it mattered, really, because it was _James._ James only wanted to keep up appearances when they went for their fake/real wedding. Had to make people believe it, after all. But then, it was just a courthouse, so why was it so important?

Maybe they were taking pictures?

Speaking of which, if they’d been married for two years, supposedly, what were they gonna do about wedding pictures? Maybe they could use the shots from the STR vow renewal. He and James had torn up the dance floor, and they’d been dressed in matching white suits, to boot, for the whole renewal and rebirth theme the vow renewal had had.

He’d grab those when he could.

Qrow stripped out of his sleep clothes in the STR bathroom and shifted into his dress clothes. He was still fine with tying his own tie, it just took a few tries before it looked fine. Then, he snagged some hair gel to slick back his hair – but not too much, he wanted his hair to still look good – and maybe snagged Raven’s eyeliner to darken the line of his eyelashes against his eyelids. It made his eyes pop, and even if he didn’t do it much anymore, this was a special occasion.

…Was it?

He stopped, still fixing his collar, and frowned at his reflection. Was he really this excited about a sham wedding? He wasn’t even thinking passed the courthouse, to when they’d have to tell the others, to when they’d have to figure out a way to explain it to the kids, to moving all his stuff across the street and into James’ house, to the interviews and inspections and background checks he’d have to go through.

He was just thinking about this damn wedding.

But was it so wrong to want to marry your best friend? Not romantically, but still out of love? It was a direction. A purpose. Proof that someone _cared_ enough to want him in their life for a very, very long time. Proof that he had a plan, proof that he wasn’t just some basement dwelling, unemployed, mooch of a brother and uncle.

He had a chance to do something _worthwhile_ , to improve lives, to give kids a chance, and to do something he’d always wanted to do: be a father, and a damn good one at that.

And yeah, of course James cared, that was never in doubt. But to know he cared enough for _this,_ to trust Qrow with the most important part of his life, was pretty damn amazing. Even if it _was_ going to change things. There was a difference between best friends who spent all their time together and being married and living together. Working together. Raising kids together.

Sleeping together.

…In the platonic sense, of course! And fuck, that was gonna make mornings awkward, since Qrow spent half of them lazily jerking off before he took a shower. Looked like he was gonna have to change that habit. And quickly.

Qrow ducked into the STR bedroom and rifled through one of the photo albums they kept in the bedside tables. He snagged a couple of the pictures from the vow renewal of him and James and tucked them into his pocket.

They were good pictures. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d looked that good, and he usually _hated_ wearing white. Never made him feel good. It was more James’ colour.

“Qrow?” The voice came up the stairs and just barely made it to the bedroom. Qrow jolted, having been lost in his thoughts. “Qrow?” came James’ voice again. Qrow closed the album and stuffed it back into the bedside table.

“Upstairs!” Qrow called back. He straightened his tie and patted at his hair a bit before darting out of the bedroom and into the hallway. James was most of the way up the stairs and his eyes went wide when he saw Qrow. Qrow paused as well, taking in James’ appearance. Black dress pants, dark blue button-down, black vest, red tie. His hair was combed back, he wore a black glove on his right hand, and his eyes were as bright as Qrow had ever seen them.

“You, uh,” James coughed, “you look good.” He looked away, clearing his throat again.

Qrow grinned, crooked. “You too.” Hey, he’d managed to impress James. That was pretty sweet.

He slid the rest of the way to James and clapped him on the shoulder. “You know, we can’t go anywhere with Yang around.”

James frowned. “True,” he agreed. “I suppose we dressed a little early.” He glanced down at himself and frowned, then tugged off the glove and stuffed it into the back pocket of his pants. “That’s better.”

“Much,” agreed Qrow. “You shouldn’t have to wear that shit, ever.” He headed down the stairs and back into the living room. Yang looked over the back of the couch to them, frowned, and then clambered around so she sat on her knees, leaned forward against the back of the couch.

“How come you two look fancy?” asked Yang, tilting her head to one side. She pursed her lips, her eyes narrowing as she looked at them. “Are you gonna go somewhere fancy?”

Qrow’s mind blanked, which was the worst possible thing that could happen right now. “Uhhhh…” He scrambled to try and find a reason, but couldn’t find one. He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand and winced as he came closer to Yang. “Just… felt like it?” he offered, voice raising high in question.

Yang gave him a flat look that reminded him of Raven.

“You _never_ dress up. Not even when me and Ruby wanna play dress up with you,” said Yang. She folded her arms and pouted. “So how come Uncle James can make you dress up?”

Qrow and James looked at each other, and Qrow knew the lost look on James’ face was probably mirrored on his own. _Shit._

Qrow moved toward the couch and rested both hands on the back of it, on either side of Yang’s folded arms. “Listen, Yang, we uh…”

Yang’s gaze went to Qrow’s left hand and to the two rings on it. The engagement ring, with its silver band and two hearts – one of garnet and one of sapphire – wrapped together with silver. And the wedding ring, also silver, with its inlay of rose gold shaped like half a heart, which divided the two words engraved on the band – ‘real’ and ‘love’.

Her eyes narrowed. Qrow swallowed. _Shit._

“Are you _married_?” asked Yang. Her eyes went wide and the shock pulled her voice high and squealy. Qrow swallowed again, mouth dropping open but no words finding him.

Her head swung around to James and she gasped again. Qrow could only assume she’d seen the twin to his wedding ring – silver band with a black inlay shaped like half a heart, the same words on either side. If the rings were pressed next to one another, they’d form a whole heart.

“You are!” She gasped, hangs flying to her mouth. “Does Mommy know? Does Mama? Does Daddy?” She stared at Qrow with ever-growing eyes. They looked like dinner plates and like they might pop out of her head. “Is that why you’re Uncle James?”

The last words were directed to James, who came up behind Qrow and rested a hand on his shoulder. The pleasant coolness of the metal pushed through his shirt, a soothing feeling against the heat in his cheeks and the pounding of his heart.

This was not part of the plan. This was not at _all_ part of the plan.

“Yes, we are, but no, I was Uncle James before that,” said James, his words soft and sure. Qrow exhaled, body relaxing despite him not remembering tensing it. “We simply kept it secret because we didn’t want people to make a big deal of out it. But, now that I’m looking into adopting children, we thought it was appropriate to tell people.”

Qrow wasn’t sure where James was pulling this story out of – probably his ass – but hell, it was working. It wasn’t like they could tell Yang and Ruby the truth, anyway, because those two didn’t understand how lies worked. Or that lying was necessary as an adult. Which was probably a lesson he wasn’t supposed to teach them for another decade or so.

“ _Wow_ ,” whispered Yang, staring at both of them with a slowly growing grin. “That’s so cool! You’re the best uncles ever.” She beamed, her missing front tooth obvious in the open-mouthed grin. “So where you going in fancy clothes?” She giggled. “Is it a _date_?”

Qrow and James looked at each other and Qrow shrugged.

“Yeah,” said Qrow. “But we have to wait for your Mama to get home, so we can go out.”

Yang scoffed. “I’m _seven_ , Uncle Qrow, not _two_. I can be alone sometimes! I can reach my snacks in the fridge.” She rolled her eyes, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Qrow fought a grin.

“Maybe,” said Qrow. He swung over the back of the couch and dropped next to Yang, the force of his fall making her bounce in her own seat. She giggled and climbed into his lap, resting her head on his shoulder. “But you’re having a bad day, so I’m not about to leave you alone with your thoughts.” He stroked her hair, pressing a kiss to her hair.

She hummed. “I guuuuuess.”

“Are you sure you’re all right with all this?” asked James, leaning over the back of the couch. He looked down at them both, his gaze soft and his brow furrowed slightly. “It’s quite a change to accept so readily.”

Yang stared up at James with raised eyebrows and a flat look on her face, as if to say ‘really?’. And _god_ , Qrow loved how emotive his nieces were. He was taking partial credit for it. At least fifty percent.

“Daddy always says that love is love, as long as everyone is happy and safe.” She shrugged. “Plus, I’m gonna have _cousins_.” She grinned at them. “Cousins!” She threw her arms into the air and giggled. Qrow relaxed into the couch, closing his eyes for a moment.

At least this morning’s traumas were already forgotten. He’d take a happy, giggling Yang over a sad, mopey one any day of the week. And hey, she had a point. The kids were going to have cousins. Maybe that would give Yang more good days than bad. Or at least start the flip.

“Hey! There’s Mama’s car!” Yang clambered off Qrow’s lap and dropped onto the floor, running to the front window. Qrow and James looked at one another. Looked like it was time to book it.

They headed for the front door, both of them shoving on their shoes as quickly as possible. The less questions that Raven got to ask right now, the better. They’d figure out how to tell the others before they came back.

The door swung open and Raven came in. Zwei’s puppy barks filled the air alongside Yang’s happy shouting as she attached herself to Raven’s legs.

Qrow winked at Raven and ducked out of the front door before the confused look on her face could finish forming.

“Mama! Guess what!” came Yang’s excited voice as they crossed the front yard. Qrow and James cast a glance at one another and booked it across the street, to James’ car. There was no way they were sticking around for _that_ conversation. They’d deal with it later.

“Qrow!”

Qrow clambered into the car and shouted to Raven through the open window as James drove by her, standing on the front step with her hands on her hips.

“Sorry Raven, going out. Don’t wait up!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are welcome! Please let me know what you think!


	4. Lying to a Courthouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have the energy or patience to proof read this. Deal with it.
> 
> Thank you so much for all the responses!! I'm so pleased to see people still love Ironqrow and my works. It means the world to me!
> 
> Let's get on with the lying, shall we? :D

For a weekday morning, the courthouse was surprisingly quiet. That didn’t mean there was no line, just that it was surprisingly shorter than what Qrow expected.

As he and James waited in line to speak to the judge, Qrow found himself rocking back and forth on his heels, fiddling with his sleeves, tugging at his tie, musing his hair—anything and everything to try and calm the nerves that fluttered in his stomach and his chest. He was going to go stand in front of a judge and _lie_. How in the fuck was he supposed to explain this to Raven?

What if they went to jail? What if they were caught? This’d fuck up James for life. He’d never be able to keep working, let alone _adopt_. If they fucked this up, it was going to ruin his _life._ Qrow? Fuck, he’d get three squares on tax fraud and dishonesty and probably spend a couple years behind bars. He could handle that. Couldn’t be any worse than his teen years.

But James…

“What’s wrong?” asked James, his voice low and soothing in the din of the hallway line-up. Qrow fiddled with his sleeves again. “Qrow.” James caught one of his hands in his own and laced their fingers together, squeezing enough to soothe Qrow’s twitchy hands. “Talk to me.”

“What if this doesn’t work?” whispered Qrow, careful not to let his voice carry. “What if we get caught?”

James offered him a comforting smile. “We won’t.” Qrow wished he had James’ confidence. “You act as if this is the first time I’ve lied to the government.” His whisper grew sly enough to have Qrow narrowing his eyes at James, even as he fought back a grin.

“James Ironwood you dirty man,” whispered Qrow, before snickering. “You dirty, dirty man.”

James bumped his hip into Qrow’s. “Oh please, like you haven’t lied before.”

Qrow hummed, amused. “Maybe,” he agreed, tugging at James’ arm. “But I thought you were above such petty things.”

“Necessary negates petty, every time,” said James. “And that’s not ‘dirty’, that’s intelligent, precise, perhaps a tad scheming, but not _dirty._ ” James wrinkled his nose as if Qrow had personally offended him. “I’m going to be a father, Qrow. I have standards.”

Qrow raised his eyebrows. “Oh please, like you don’t watch porn like the rest of us.”

James went scarlet. The person in front of Qrow snickered—whoops, he hadn’t kept his voice down for that part – and Qrow tried not to look too pleased with himself. He probably wasn’t succeeding, based on how the grin he wore was tugging at his face.

“That is _not_ —” James’ voice cracked. “I’m not—” He turned redder and redder, until Qrow worried all the blood might make him pass out. “I—”

“Relax,” murmured Qrow, squeezing James’ hand. “You’re fine.” He couldn’t keep the teasing out of his voice. “Just remember to clear your browser history and the kid’ll never know.” He winked at James, who seemed to turn a shade of red that Qrow hadn’t known existed beforehand. _Oh,_ did he love pushing James’ buttons.

“Next case, Ironwood and Branwen,” called someone in the courtroom. James and Qrow looked to one another and both squeezed their joined hands in unison.

“You ready?” asked Qrow.

James let out a shaky breath, his shoulders lowering and his entire body relaxing for a moment before it tensed again. “One small step for man,” he murmured.

“One giant leap toward fatherhood,” replied Qrow, bumping his shoulder into James’. James offered him a wobbly smile and, together, the two walked into the court room and up to the stand, where the judge, an elderly black woman with greying dreadlocks and kind eyes, watched them approach.

“It says here that you two have been married for two years, but your marriage license was lost in the system,” said the judge. She hummed, eyeing them over tiny, square glasses. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to hear your story.”

“Of course, your honour,” said James, bowing his head for a moment. He straightened back up and took his hand back from Qrow’s. Qrow flexed his hand, suddenly cold. “Qrow and I married two years ago in a small ceremony. We signed the license that night and sent it off. We never received a copy back, never received confirmation. As neither of us had married prior, and because our lives were so busy, we never thought anything of it.” James cleared his throat, gesticulating with both hands. “Until we recently requested proof of our marriage and found there was none.”

The judge watched him, her lips pressed into a thin line. “Why did you request proof now, why not before?” she asked.

James smiled, professional and calm, like a customer service worker who knew they were in control and their manager would side with them. “As I said, we’ve been busy. My work has kept me travelling until I requested a permanent location in Vale, and Qrow has been helping his sister with her family.” He fiddled with the glove on his right hand, which had the judge narrowing her eyes. “We might have gone years without finding out, except for one detail.”

“Do tell,” said the judge, raising her eyebrows.

James cleared his throat, the tips of his ears colouring. “We’ve been looking into starting a family, your honour, and our marriage is crucial to the adoption process.” He looked up at the judge with his eyes wide and soft, almost puppy-like.

The judge seemed to soften, her eyes crinkling around the edges and her shoulders lowering. “There are few circumstances in which they prefer a married couple to adopt over a single parent.” Even her words were gentler, more questioning and curious than demanding.

James nodded, pressing his lips together in a tight line. His eyes watered, and he swiped at them, clearing his throat again. Qrow wondered if he should find him a glass of water.

“We’ve run into most of them, your honour.” His voice was hoarse and crackling. “And she’s… perfect. This is the only thing that stands in our way, and to know that our marriage, our love, was denied its legitimacy, and to know that that, now, is ruining our chance of having a family…” He trailed off and looked away, shaking his head.

Qrow reached out and rested a hand on James’ arm.

“We just want to bring our daughter home,” said Qrow, staring up at the judge. He found his own voice had grown hoarse with emotion. His eyes prickled from James’ heartfelt words. James wasn’t an actor, nor a fairly good liar, so most of this had to come from the heart, and the heartbreak, of meeting a daughter he thought he couldn’t have.

The judge nodded, wiping at her own eyes. “I can believe that.” She nodded, pressing her lips together as if to school her expression. “Do you have proof? Anything I can use to justify backdating a marriage license?” She raised both eyebrows.

Qrow pulled the pictures out of his back pocket and held them out. The bailiff approached and took the pictures to the judge. She looked them over, a small smile spreading across her features as she flipped through them.

“They’re dated two years ago, and they’re very, very sweet.” She smiled, then narrowed her eyes. “Although, it’s quite an untraditional looking wedding.” She looked to the two, raising her eyebrows. “And I notice you’re ringless, unlike today.”

Qrow looked to James, hoping he had something to help with that. What kind of marriage didn’t have rings? And what if she asked for pictures of the ceremony, and not just the reception? Sure, he could use photoshop pretty damn well, but he hadn’t had _time._ Damn it, James. Always so eager to do shit.

…Well, no, that was classically _him_. And _James_ was the one to suffer for it.

Huh. Maybe this was how James felt whenever Qrow dragged him into his shenanigans.

…But that didn’t excuse this! At least Qrow had never broken the law.

Well, at least blatantly. In the last five years.

Maybe two years.

“I actually have the receipt for the rings, your honour,” said James, pulling it out of his shirt pocket. He held it out and the bailiff took it and handed it to the judge. “It’s dated a few days after the ceremony. I’d been dealing with some financial trouble at the time of the wedding, but with help from Qrow’s sister-in-law, I was able to afford the rings within the week.” He grimaced, looking almost ashamed. “I’m… not proud that I couldn’t afford the rings on the day of our wedding, but it seems today is a day of admitting mistakes, is it not?”

Qrow blinked. _Wait, what?_

The judge looked at the receipt, then the pictures, and smiled.

“All right,” she said, nodding. “I’ll backdate this to the day of your wedding pictures, if that’s all the same to you.” She clapped her hands together and looked at them both with warm eyes that reminded Qrow of Summer, baking on a hot summer day. “Go get your daughter, gentlemen. We could use more fathers like you in this world.” She banged her gavel and nodded, her words and expression still gentle. “Dismissed.”

Together, Qrow and James left the courtroom, Qrow half stumbling out the door in shock.

_Holy shit._ They’d just lied to a judge and gotten away with it. They’d just gotten their marriage license. For a fake marriage. On a fake date. What the actual _fuck_ had just happened?

“Holy shit,” whispered Qrow, his voice hoarse. “Holy shit.”

“Let’s get outside, first,” murmured James. He rested a hand on the small of Qrow’s back and guided him outside and toward his car.

They made it maybe fifty feet from the courthouse before Qrow stumbled to a stop and grabbed James by the elbow to spin him around, so they faced one another.

“How in the _fuck_ did you manage that?” asked Qrow, staring at James with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. He blinked a few times, fighting a grin that threatened to break his shocked expression. “Seriously, that was fucking incredible, Jim.” He let out a little laugh with his words.

James flushed and rubbed the back of his neck with his still gloved right hand. Qrow wanted to rip the glove off and lace their fingers together, as proof of what they’d just accomplished.

“I spoke with my heart, instead of my mind,” said James, looking to Qrow with a small smile. “Aren’t you always telling me to do that?”

Qrow nodded, now breaking out into a grin. “Yeah, I am.” He bumped his shoulder into James’. “Proud of you.”

James looked away, his cheeks flushing further. “Yes, well. We should get going.”

The two walked side by side to the parking lot and toward James’ car. As they walked, another thought hit Qrow and he found himself frowning.

“Hey, you know, that trick with the rings was pretty cool. I’d no idea they could backdate receipts like that. How’d you manage to convince them to do that?” asked Qrow, cocking his head to one side.

James didn’t look at him. “I didn’t.” His words gave away nothing.

Qrow narrowed his eyes. “But the judge said the receipt was two years old.”

James looked at Qrow, something unreadable in his expression. Qrow pinched his brows together. He was missing something here.

“I don’t get it,” he said.

James shrugged. “It’s not important, don’t worry about it.” He cleared his throat, the tips of his ears bright red. “Come on, we shouldn’t keep your family waiting. I’m sure they have a lot of questions for us.”

“Our family,” corrected Qrow. “They’re _our_ family, Jim, and not just ’cause of this marriage. They were yours long before that.”

With a soft look and a softer smile, James nodded to Qrow. “Our family.” He rested his hand on the small of Qrow’s back once more and lead them to the car.

The drive back was relatively quiet, with James and Qrow mostly listening to the radio and, Qrow presumed, both of them wracking their minds for how to talk to Tai, Summer, and Raven about all this. There was a hell of a lot to explain, and they couldn’t exactly do it with Yang and Ruby around.

Well, Ruby had a couple more hours of school. But what about Yang? Especially after they’d already told her the cover story.

“You think Yang’s told them all yet?” asked Qrow, fiddling with the dials on the stereo.

James rolled his eyes and tapped a button on his steering wheel, switching the stereo to Qrow’s favourite station. Qrow settled back in his seat, swaying a bit at the sort of jazzy-rock music that the station played.

“Probably,” said James. He cast a look to Qrow as he turned a corner. “I wouldn’t be surprised if all three of them are home, actually. It’s about their lunch time.”

Qrow winced. “I didn’t think about that.”

“At least we only have to explain this once.” James’ words were soft, but frustrated. He scowled at the road in front of him, his hands clenching on the steering wheel. Qrow could see him working his jaw. Without a word, Qrow reached out and laid one of his hands over James’ right, on the steering wheel.

“Hey,” Qrow matched James’ soft tone, but not his frustration, “it’ll be fine. They’ll probably give us a hard time, but none of them are gonna have anything bad to say. They know how much you want kids.” He snorted. “Summer’s gonna be crackin’ jokes for the next ten years. This is like a dream come true for her.”

James snorted in return. “Oh, I didn’t think about that.” His words shifted into a quiet groan and he looked at Qrow, the long-suffering already in his expression.

Qrow grinned in response. “For once, I’m not gonna deal with those jokes alone.”

“You say that as if she doesn’t say them all to me, as well.” James rolled his eyes. “That woman is relentless.”

Qrow shrugged and leaned back into his seat again, his hand still on the steering wheel. “Yeah,” he agreed. “But she loves us.”

“Indeed,” murmured James. Qrow squeezed James’ hand on the wheel and James lowered his hand to the centre console so they could tangle their fingers together.

Qrow stared at them as James drove, a thoughtful expression etching itself on to his face.

Huh.

Maybe this marriage thing wasn’t gonna be so hard. They already had the affection part down, bar some pretty obvious PDA stuff. But hey, James wasn’t that kind of person, so it was probably fine. Or at least, Qrow didn’t _think_ he was that kind of person. He’d never really seen James date. He’d done a couple first dates, in the past, but nothing big. Nothing that warranted PDA or introductions to the STRQ clan.

Qrow had never really given much thought to it, before, but now it seemed like an obvious gap. And sure, he wasn’t exactly one to talk, because his idea of a ‘relationship’ was a quickie in the back alley of a club or some seedy motel, but James was a family man, a domestic man. It seemed kind of weird that he’d never dated anyone seriously or long term, even before the accident. Post accident, Qrow could sort of get it, but with James’ ever-growing confidence – and damn right, he should be confident, the prosthetics did _nothing_ to take away from how fucking fantastic he was – it seemed like he should have found someone to settle down with by now.

Maybe it was his work, or maybe it was the prospect of a family, or maybe it was Qrow, himself, stopping James. After all, when you had a best friend monopolizing all your time, how were you supposed to find someone to date?

Qrow shook it all off as they pulled into the driveway of the STR house. He was thinking too hard about all this. James had never dated because he didn’t want to, not because Qrow was stealing away his time, or because James was scared of being queer – which, god, that hadn’t even occurred to him, before now, but James had grown up gay in a pretty awful place to do so. Was that still affecting him? Surely, not. He was as open about it as Qrow was, albeit, in different ways – or because of the accident.

It was that simple. He just didn’t want to. So it made sense he’d come to Qrow for this, and not try some wacky Craigslist scheme.

…Did Craigslist even still _exist?_ He’d have to ask Tai.

“Ready?” asked James, looking to Qrow with raised eyebrows. Qrow nodded. The two climbed out of the car and headed into the house, one after the other.

The scene was _about_ what Qrow had imagined. Yang was nowhere in sight, but neither was Zwei. He could faintly hear them playing in the backyard.

On the couches were Raven, Taiyang, and Summer, eating lunch together. They all froze when James and Qrow came into the room. Raven’s eyes narrowed. Summer waved. Taiyang gestured for them to sit down.

The two did, taking each spot on the loveseat, in a turn.

“So, Qrow,” Raven’s words were as firm as Qrow had ever heard them as she, Taiyang, and Summer all stared him and James down, “do you want to tell me why Yang is convinced you and James are _married?_ ”

Qrow looked to James, who seemed to be chewing on the inside of his cheek, his eyes wide in panic. Yeah, he wasn’t going to be coming up with anything for the moment.

With a sigh, Qrow shrugged. Might as well be honest.

He lifted his hand to show off the rings and bit the inside of his cheek to hide his grin when he saw the three see the rings – Summer’s eyes went wide, and her hands flew to her mouth, Raven swore, and Taiyang’s jaw dropped.

With a crooked smile, he said, “Because we are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and feedback make my day! No matter how big or small! Thank you for reading! <3


	5. Totally Heterosexual Reasons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year. This chapter kept getting rewritten. Hopefully it's okay now.
> 
> Proofread now. Huzzah.

There was a long, awkward moment where no one spoke, where Summer looked torn between laughing and staring, where Taiyang seemed to have lost the ability to speak, and where Raven looked like she wanted to chew nails.

“Qrow.” Raven’s voice, hard and low; a warning. “What the _fuck_?” Qrow barely caught the snicker that slipped from his nose, clapping a hand over his mouth to calm himself. He pulled his hand away to grin at Raven, half-sheepish and half-smug, and shrugged.

“Miracles, Rae,” he said, a twinkle in his eye and a laugh in his voice. “Oh, come on, you really think Jim and I secretly fell in love and high-tailed it downtown to get married on a whim?” He raised an eyebrow at the trio. “Seriously?”

Summer sighed and leaned against the armrest of the couch, propping up her cheek in one hand, her elbow in the armrest. “He’s got a point. If there was pining, we’d know. Those two are _terrible_ at hiding things.”

At Qrow’s side, James tensed, and Qrow saw his cheeks flush. James cleared his throat, pressing his lips tight together, and took a seat on the loveseat to the right of Qrow. Qrow dropped down next to him, draping both arms along the back of the couch.

“So, what, was this a joke?” asked Raven. The fury still burned below the surface in her voice, but Qrow knew why. Yang had found out before these three, and whatever they’d told Yang, Raven now had to unravel and figure out. If Raven thought that Qrow and James had lied to Yang for a prank, especially about something this _big_ , Raven would wring their necks.

Though, he was kind of hurt that she assumed he’d go to this much trouble for a _prank._ He wasn’t that determined to one-up her. He’d given up keeping score back when Yang was a toddler. Jeez.

“Quite the opposite,” said James, clasping his hands together. He let out a soft exhale that was part sigh and part frustration. Qrow slipped his arm forward to rest his hand between James’ shoulder-blades. Whatever this was doing to _him,_ it was ten times worse for James. He needed to remember that. “I… ran into a problem with adoption.”

Summer immediately softened, her head lifting from her hand, whose fingers curled toward her palm; her eyes softened, her mouth curled downward, part frown and part pity. “Oh no.” Even her words were soft, barely there. “Why didn’t you say anything, James? We would have helped.”

“Unfortunately, this was the sort of thing you couldn’t help me with,” said James. He cast a look to Qrow, who offered him what he hoped was an encouraging smile, and James gave a small smile back. “In any other situation, I would have been fine, but, unfortunately, I found a little girl that I couldn’t leave behind at the agency.”

Taiyang’s brow furrowed. Raven cocked her head and looked at her partners, who didn’t seem to notice, then back at the pair on the loveseat.

“What’s stopping you from adopting her?” asked Raven. Of all of them, Qrow figured, Raven probably knew the least about adoption. Summer and Taiyang had looked into it, back when Yang was a baby and they hadn’t known if Summer could get pregnant, and Qrow had been listening to James talk about the process for months. Raven hadn’t had either experience, leaving her largely in the dark.

“Special needs children can’t be adopted by single parents,” said James, with a sigh.

Taiyang snorted. “Well, that’s bullshit.”

“Yup,” said Qrow, rolling his eyes. “You’re telling me, Tai.”

James nodded, his shoulders still tensed up near his ears. Qrow rubbed his back, keeping his gaze, soft and concerned, almost entirely on James.

With a sigh and a shake of his head, James continued. “I couldn’t leave her behind, and while I could take the issue to court, it was…,” he flexed his right hand, still gloved, and stared down at it like it held all the reasons for his pain. Which, well, it held a couple of them, at least, “unlikely that I’d be given a different response, all things considered.” His voice was soft, barely there, and the level of self-frustration and sadness in it had Qrow shifting closer to James to wrap his arm around him better.

“So, he came to me,” said Qrow, when it became clear that James needed a minute, “and he asked me if I’d marry him so that he could go get this little girl and bring her home.” He shrugged. “After he explained all this to me, well, I couldn’t find any good reason to say no.” He looked from James, to the others, then back again. “And honestly, I didn’t want to find one.”

He looked back at the others and found Summer pressing her lips together, the crinkle around her eyes hinting at the smile was she trying to hide. Qrow fought the urge to roll his eyes at her. Of _course_ , she would take it _that_ way; she always had when it came to the two of them. But that wasn’t the point of all this. He’d live. Let Summer dream on in her little gremlin fantasy land.

“It’s going to be a long and difficult process to adopt, still,” said James, looking from Qrow to the others, “but I’m up for it, and I’ve spoken with Qrow and he seems up for it as well.” Qrow nodded, smiling at James. “We can do this, as friends and, I suppose, as husbands.”

“Husbands,” echoed Taiyang, flopping back on the couch. He chuckled and shook his head, a wry smile twisting his expression before he ran his hand over his face. “This is…” He shook his head again. “We’re gonna need a hell of a cover story.”

Raven leaned back into Taiyang, resting her head on his shoulder. She hummed, eyes half-closed. Frustration and anxiety took most of her energy, Qrow knew, and with everything else going on with her lately, it made sense that this would take the wind out of her.

“We’ll have to get all the details straight,” murmured Raven, her eyes fluttering closed.

“Nap-time?” asked Taiyang, into her hair, just barely audible. Raven hummed and Taiyang helped her to her feet, guiding her toward the stairs. “Be right back.” He winked at them and led Raven up the stairs and toward their room.

Summer watched them go before turning her attention back to Qrow and James. “She isn’t sleeping at night,” she said, by way of explanation. “We’ll fill her in, later.” Qrow nodded. Made sense. They’d been talking about rough shit only this morning – and shit, wow, it’d been a long day and it was only around three o’clock. Which reminded him, someone had to go get Ruby soon.

Taiyang came downstairs a moment later and shuffled over to Summer, dropping down next to her and pressing a kiss to her hair.

“So, cover story?” asked Taiyang, raising both eyebrows.

“We’ve got a bit of it, already, but more can be thought out, later,” said James, clasping his hands together. He cast a look to Qrow, a frown tugging at his mouth and his eyes. “Are you sure you’re all right with this? It’s quite…”

“Unconventional?” asked Taiyang, a wry grin on his face. “Yeah, funny how _we’re_ the ones to accept that, huh?” His eyes twinkled and his grin spread further, amusement coating his voice.

Qrow rolled his eyes. Okay, yeah, he should have _definitely_ realized that that would have something to do with their acceptance. Plus, it wasn’t as if the three hadn’t been dragged into his shenanigans a thousand times before. In particular, Taiyang was always getting dragged into things, and he and Qrow had been involved in enough bluffing and buffoonery on their own, between graduating high school and Yang being born, to last a lifetime.

“I don’t know what to say,” said James, his voice low and hoarse. Qrow started. Sure, he’d been a little surprised, but he knew Taiyang better than he knew himself, or he had, once. For James, this had to be well, about as shocking as Qrow saying yes and dragging him down to a courthouse. “Thank you.”

Taiyang and Summer both smiled at him. Qrow leaned over and rested a hand on James’ knee, shuffling over until they were pressed hip to hip and shoulder to shoulder.

“Hey, we’re all with you,” said Qrow. “We’re gonna get you this kid. You’re gonna have a daughter.”

“We,” said James, his voice still hoarse. “We’re going to have a daughter, Qrow. We’re married, as I keep reminding you, and we’ll raise her together.”

Qrow smiled at James, who smiled back.

“So, that’s the plan, then?” asked Summer. Qrow turned his gaze to Summer, who watched them with a furrowed brow. “You’re going to be fathers, together?”

Qrow nodded.

“So, you’ll be moving in with him, then?” Summer’s voice turned amused, her gaze turning sly and her smile shifting from sly to eager. “Eating in his kitchen, working in his garage,” she giggled, “sleeping in his bed.”

Taiyang choked. Qrow flushed. _Oh_ , right. That. He’d thought about it briefly, but hearing Summer bring it up was something else entirely. Of course, she’d take it that way, but, then again, wouldn’t most people?

…But if they were going to be fathers, husbands, and they were going to have a little girl, someone who might come into their room at night, looking for them…

_Oh._

Now, with everything else over, it felt like all that could finally sink in, and Qrow was left flustered, flushed, and a little overwhelmed.

“Well, yes, that, uh, is the idea.” James’ cleared his throat, lifting one hand to rub the back of his neck. He flexed his hand in Qrow’s and tried to pull it away. Qrow held fast. “I’m sure you can make a reasonable guess as to why.”

“Kids talk,” said Taiyang, nodding. “And talk spreads.”

Summer was still grinning. “So, when are you moving?”

Qrow looked to James, who shrugged. “We hadn’t talked about that, yet.” Qrow tugged his fingers through his hair. “Soon, probably. We’ve gotta keep the ball rollin’ with the adoption agency. Don’t wanna lose out on the kid.”

“We won’t,” whispered James, and Qrow froze. That tone, that _defeat_ , was new. Not for the first time, Qrow wondered why James hadn’t brought up the kid before. Why, if he’d fallen in love with this little girl, he’d never talked about her, never wanted to share her existence with the four of them. It wasn’t as if they were far: just across the street.

Qrow narrowed his eyes, trying to keep his voice soft and level. “Why not?”

“Yeah, I mean, foster families always want special needs kids, don’t they?” Taiyang, ran his fingers through Summer’s hair, his arm draped around her shoulders. “I mean, obviously I’m glad that you’re guaranteed to get her, but…” Taiyang frowned. “What’s up with that statement?”

James looked away from them all, fiddling with the cuffs of his shirt. “According to the adoption agency, she’s considered ‘undesirable’ and ‘difficult to foster’.” His voice grew hard and he took his hand back from Qrow’s, clenching both hands into tight fists on his knees. “Which makes no sense to me. She’s a wonderful child, and she deserves the world. Anyone who can’t see that—”

“James.” Qrow cut him off with a soft voice; a sharp contrast to James’ frustrated tone. Qrow leaned back so he could bump his shoulder into James’, then leaned as far into James as he thought he could get away with. “Breathe. I’m sure she’s perfect.”

James nodded, lips twitching up until his scowl became something closer to a barely-there frown. “It’s not physical, well, not entirely, anyway.” He looked up at Qrow. “Though, I suspect we’ll need to do more research than I already have.”

Qrow cocked an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

“Yes. She’s autistic,” said James. “Her gross motor seems to be developing well, but her fine motor skills are underdeveloped, and she’s somewhat behind in language acquisition.” Qrow blinked a few times, trying to parse out what that all meant. James gave him a long-suffering look and sighed, though it sounded more fond than frustrated. “She can walk and run, but she can’t tie her shoes or build a puzzle, and while can she speak, she’s behind Ruby, despite being the same age.”

“Right, right,” Qrow scoffed, “I knew that.” James rolled his eyes and gave Qrow a flat look. Qrow shrugged, a sheepish grin spreading across his face. “So, research. I can look into all the shit with autistic kids. No problem.”

James nodded, but he pressed his lips together and looked away again.

“What?” asked Qrow. James said nothing. Qrow bumped him again. “Hey, none of that. What else is there? You know nothing’s gonna turn me off this whole venture. Hell, we already did the first part, getting married.” He narrowed his eyes. “Spill.”

“She’s transgender,” said James, the hesitation clear in his voice. “And very adamant about being a girl. That’s…” He trailed off.

Taiyang finished. “That’s why she’s so hard to adopt. This kid is what, six?”

“Five.”

“Right.” Taiyang nodded. “At that age, very few foster parents are gonna run with it. They’d rather stuff the kid back into the box labelled with their genitals and keep going until it nearly kills the kid, then blame everyone but themselves.” He didn’t sound angry, just, done. As if he’d seen it a dozen times before. Which, considering he was an elementary school teacher, he probably had.

Qrow grimaced. “Well, we’re not gonna let that happen to her. She’s free to grow up as herself.” He looked at James. “Right?”

James smiled, shoulders dropping in what Qrow figured was probably relief. “Right,” he agreed. He sighed and leaned back against the couch, one hand over his face. “Thank you.”

Qrow rolled his eyes. “You worry too much.”

“It’s my nature,” replied James, his eyes closed. “And I don’t take advisement from fellow worriers.”

Qrow opened his mouth to reply, then closed it. He didn’t have much of a response to that one.

Taiyang snickered.

From the kitchen, the sliding door slid open and closed, then the sound of flip-flops on the tile and the tak-tak-tak of puppy nails entered the room just before Yang and Zwei did.

“Mooooooom,” called Yang, swinging her arms back and forth. She pointed to the clock on the wall near the TV. “We were supposed to pick up Ruby ten minutes ago!”

All heads swung toward the clock. Yup. Ten minutes ago.

_Shit._

“I’ve got it,” said Taiyang, getting to his feet. He scooped Yang into his arms. “Wanna come along? We can go _bike riding_.” She cheered, throwing her arms into the air, and they both waved as Taiyang headed out the door.

Once they were gone, the trio turned their attention back to one another.

“So,” asked Summer, waggling her eyebrows, “while you wait for the adoption to go through, are you two gonna _try_ and have another kid?”

James choked. So did Qrow. _What?_

“Summer, you know very well neither of us can carry a child!” protested James, his voice cracking through.

Qrow glared at Summer, his cheeks and ears burning. “That’s not why she said it, Jim.”

James went pale, then very red. He stared at Summer, who kept grinning.

“Who knows, James. Maybe the way to get that stick out of your ass will be to stick Qrow’s _up_ it!” Summer crowed, cackling as she fell back on the couch.

Qrow launched himself at her, tickling her everywhere he could. “Brat!” he shouted. Summer kept laughing. Qrow kept tickling. James joined him to hold her down.

“Nooooo!” cried Summer, trying to wiggle her way through.

She _so_ deserved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are love!


	6. Moving Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a long chapter.

Moving day came a little over a week later, which was mostly because it took that long for Qrow to get his act together and pack up all his shit. He… had more shit than he’d realized. Which made sense, considering he’d had a couple years to gather up all his shit in this basement that was almost entirely for him. He had some furniture, though nothing he wanted to take, plus his clothes, and a bunch of other stuff he’d managed to pile up. Drawings by Yang and Ruby, toiletries, his blankets and his favourite pillow, some books, a bunch of tools, and all the mechanical bits he’d been collecting to fix up his motorcycle.

…and a vibrator. But that was going as deep in his luggage as he could manage, because no one, _especially_ not James, needed to know about that. Not ever. Nope.

The morning of moving day, Qrow woke up earlier than he figured he would. He’d thought, after going to bed late from finishing packing the night before, that he’d sleep in. Especially since it was his last Saturday in his basement room. Instead, he found himself blinking awake, sleepiness far from his mind, around eight in the morning.

_Huh._

With a shrug, Qrow dragged himself out of bed and shuffled into the shower to wash up.

Under the water, his head cleared, and he found himself almost giddy. Today, he was moving. Finally leaving his basement cave and starting a life of his own, even if it was much, much later than most people did. And sure, maybe that life wasn’t perfectly genuine. Maybe his marriage was built on convenience. Maybe he wasn’t starting a family the way most people did.

But he was _starting a family._ He was going to have a husband, and a house, and a _kid._ It was…

Kind of incredible, actually.

Out of the shower, Qrow tugged on something respectable that made him look at least halfway like the adult he needed to be and headed upstairs to the mayhem of the morning.

Ruby and Yang were attacking their cereal bowls with clinking spoons and battle cries, Raven was making coffee, her eyes bleary and the bags under them deeper than yesterday. She still wasn’t sleeping, not well, at least, and Qrow frowned. There had to be _something_ he could do.

But his plans were forgotten when Taiyang came sliding into the kitchen in socks and shorts and not much else, bearing an oversized basket of laundry. He grinned at Summer, winked at Qrow, and ruffled Ruby’s hair as he went by.

“Laundry day,” he sang, swinging his hip and he sashayed down the stairs.

Qrow raised an eyebrow and looked at Summer. “You sure _I’m_ the gay one?” he asked.

Summer sipped her coffee. “He’s got two wives and two kids. You tell me.” The sly smile on her face was just visible over the rim of her mug. Raven rolled her eyes and poured her own cup, no doubt much stronger than Summer’s.

“Like the kids are through any doing of his own,” muttered Raven.

Qrow choked on air, coughing hard and smacking his chest. _Eugh._ He’d forgotten about that. He really, really wished he hadn’t been _reminded_ of that. Summer giggled and bumped her hip into Raven’s before leaning over to kiss her on the cheek.

“You’re cute,” murmured Summer, nuzzling her cheek.

Raven rolled her eyes, a flush rising to her cheeks. “Dork.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. Qrow rolled his eyes, his smile fond but his chest oddly tight. _Huh._ That was new. Weird. He shrugged, internally. Probably nothing to worry about. Maybe he had heart burn. Something to do with not having eaten since the night before.

Oh well.

“So, when’s James coming over?” asked Summer, her voice sing-song. She rocked back and forth on her heels, grinning, obviously giddy. Qrow rolled his eyes and cleared his throat, realizing, for the first time, that he was the only one dressed.

“Whenever I text him, I guess,” replied Qrow. They hadn’t set up a proper time to start hauling everything across the street. There wasn’t really any reason. Between the girls’ wagons and the upper body strength of the five adults, moving Qrow’s boxes and suitcases wouldn’t be hard. Hell, they weren’t even taking any furniture, partially because he didn’t want to, but mostly because James already _had_ furniture.

Qrow wondered if he’d like James’ bed. He’d never flopped on it before. They didn’t tend to go up to his room when they were at his house. He had better spaces to sprawl out.

“Maybe you should text him.” Summer giggled and danced around him before leaning around the table to kiss Ruby on the crown of her head. Ruby looked up from where she’d been squinting at a chapter book over her cereal.

“What?” she asked, mouth full of Cocoa Puffs. She swallowed, wiping the milk from her chin, before returning to her book. By the cover, Qrow figured she was reading Magic Tree House.

Heh. Smart kid.

“Nothing, sweetpea. Keep reading.” Summer waggled her eyebrows at Qrow and danced forward. Before he could react, she’d snatched his phone from his pocket and darted off into the backyard with it.

Rolling his eyes, Qrow cast a look to Raven, who only shrugged, amusement in her eyes and long-suffering smirk on her lips, before heading after her. He sighed and crossed the yard on his bare feet, grateful, upon feeling the morning dew, that he hadn’t put on socks. He wasn’t a sandal fiend, like Tai (though that didn’t stop him from wearing _socks_ , the heathen), but hell if he was wearing socks _indoors._ That was just some _bullshit._

Unless you were in a sock sliding competition. Then socks were valued based on their wear, lack of holes, and relative glide over hardwood and tile floors. And yes, there was a difference in the two glides, and different pairs of socks had different glides. Something to do with friction versus texture, he supposed. Raven might have known. She knew all sorts of shit about friction and propulsion.

“Summer!” Qrow called, watching Summer scamper up the tree at the corner of the yard. “Gimme back my phone.”

“Never!” Summer cackled and climbed higher, dangling from a high branch before she swung herself into the next tree. Qrow shook his head. Some days, he couldn’t tell who the kids in the house were. Or that Summer had had a pregnancy filled with bedrest and backpain. She was a god damn _monkey._

Qrow snorted as Summer butt-scooted her way over to the trunk of the tree and hung on to it with her legs, typing away at his phone. Right, of _course_ she was texting James. He should have known.

“Don’t make me come up there.” Qrow put his hands on his hips. Not that he would. Fucking heights. If they were supposed to fly, they would have had damn _wings._ No way in hell he was coming off the ground.

And _god_ , he felt like an older brother sometimes, running after her. And she was the _oldest_ out of them.

So much for maturity based on _age_. At least in the STRQ household.

“Summer!” he called up to her again, still frowning. Yeah, there was no way he was gonna be able to scale these trees, even if he wanted to.

For one, he was wearing _jeans._ Form-fitting jeans. And for two, he was a good foot taller than Summer. The easy way she swung through the branches wouldn’t work with him. He’d end up a dangling, awkward, gangly fuck stuck in a tree with limbs in places that shouldn’t have been possible. And then they’d have to fall the fire department to get him down.

_Again._

And, again, there was no way in _hell_ he was climbing a tree. Not for all the money in the world. Fucking gravity. And heights. Bunch of bull _shit._

“Catch.” He jerked, reacting before he processed what she’d said. His phone dropped back into his hands and Qrow sighed, taking a moment to watch Summer scamper back down the tree and land, neatly, in front of him. She grinned, winked, and took off into the house.

Qrow didn’t follow. It wasn’t worth it. She’d just hide behind Raven and Raven could kick his ass any day of the week, no matter how sleep deprived she might have been.

He checked his phone and found James had sent a new text that was just ‘???’. Raising an eyebrow and preparing for the worst, Qrow swiped his phone open to see what Summer had texted.

_All showered and ready for my prince charming to sweep me off my feet. Come on over, baby._

It was followed by a bunch of kissy faces and heart emojis. Qrow rolled his eyes. _Wow._ Either Summer was ridiculous enough to think he texted like that, or she’d been as over the top and obtuse as possible. And, knowing her as well as he did, he had no idea which one it was.

               _Summer stole my phone_ , he replied.

A moment passed, then,

_Ah. Of course.  
               Perhaps we should teach her about boundaries?_

Qrow rolled his eyes and tapped away, heading back toward the house.

               _Summer? Boundaries? Jim, I think we’re talking about different people._

James replied,

               _I suppose you’re right._

Qrow added,

               _Besides, she’s harmless. What’s she gonna do, give us a bad movie plot about miscommunication?_

He could practically _hear_ James snorting, almost see the way he rolled his eyes and tried to fight a smile before he texted Qrow back. It was a gesture he’d seen a thousand times before, usually accompanied by a chuckle and a twinkle in his eye.

               _Mm. You do make a great point,_ James replied. _Was she right, though? Should I come over?_

Qrow stepped back into the house and kicked the door shut with one foot, still focused on his phone.

               _Please. Don’t make me suffer her alone._

James’ reply was immediate.

               _Maybe I should wait._

Qrow rolled his eyes and stuffed his phone back into his pocket, chuckling and shaking his head. He couldn’t get the grin off his face, even as Taiyang came up the stairs and raised his eyebrows at Qrow, amusement naked on his face.

“Uh oh,” sang Taiyang, “someone get a cute text from his hubby-wubby?”

“Oh, fuck off.” Qrow shoved at Tai as he went by. “And put on some damn clothes! James is comin’ over.”

Taiyang turned, already halfway out the kitchen, and wiggled his booty-short clad ass at Qrow. Thankfully, the kids weren’t paying attention.

“Why? Worried you might have some competition?” asked Taiyang, waggling his eyebrows.

Qrow shoved Tai out of the kitchen, snorting, and rounded to face him once they were out of the room.

“If you _really_ had any chance of bedding James, you would have tried years ago. He’s out of your league, Tai Tai.” The jealousy rose out of nowhere, tightening his teasing words into something tenser. Qrow swallowed at them, wondering where they’d come from even as the tips of his ears turned red.

Tai only chuckled and clapped Qrow on the shoulder. “Well, _yeah_. But so are my wives.” He winked at Qrow. “I’ll put on clothes.”

With a sigh, Qrow shook his head. A knock at the door sounded and Qrow tried to shake off any lingering, strange feelings that had built up in his chest. Maybe the lack of sleep and the heartburn was getting to him. He really needed to get something to eat, and some better rest. Maybe James’ bed would be better for that. He wouldn’t wake up with kids pounding on the ceiling over his bed, at least.

…He was going to miss having the kids in the same house. He’d miss Ruby and Yang, even if they were a whole fifty feet from him. It’d be strange, not having a full house. Being a sort of guest.

Would he feel like that at James’ house? Or would it feel like his? Would he be able to make any changes to the house? So much shit to ask James, when he got the chance.

Qrow opened the door to James, who had his sleeves pushed up and the top button of his shirt undone. Qrow rolled his eyes. Seriously, what was with everyone and being half naked, all of a sudden? God. And he thought _he’d_ been bad for that, once.

“What?” asked James. “Is there something on my face?” He reached up, metallic fingers grazing his chin, and Qrow shook his head.

“You’re fine, come on in.” Qrow gestured for James to follow him, back toward the kitchen. A chorus of shouts went up and Ruby fired by, racing for the still-open front door. Qrow spun and scooped her up, hanging her upside down with one arm.

“Aww,” she whined, flailing and pouting. “I was gonna go on adventures!” She kicked, uselessly, at Qrow. He rolled his eyes at James, who watched the exchange with such a soft, longing look that Qrow forget what he was doing.

“Qrow, door,” called Summer, slipping around him to hip check the door shut. She tugged at her hair, only sorta pulled up, and winked one silver eye at him. “And remember to keep the basement door open, boys.”

Qrow set Ruby down, who cheered, scooped up Zwei off the floor, and sprinted upstairs for whatever reason her tiny, six-year-old brain could come up with. With a shake of his head, Qrow tossed his words over his shoulder at Summer.

“Yeah, yeah. Like you three don’t get up to worse.” He slipped around the kitchen table and ruffled Yang’s hair.

“Can I help?” she asked, perking up. Qrow and Raven exchanged a glance. Yang rolled her eyes. “I’m not a _baby_.” She folded her arms and scowled. “And Uncle James already fixed my arm. I can handle it.”

James stepped forward, a smile on his face. “Of course, Yang. We’d be happy to have your help.” He gave a look to Raven, heavy with its meaning, and Raven nodded.

“Sure,” she said, shrugging. “Why not?” She levelled a look at Qrow and James. “Just bring up the boxes, first. I’m not going up and down these stairs with all of us.”

Qrow blanched at the thought. Yeah, five adults, two kids, and a puppy was _not_ a good combo on basement stairs. Especially not when the basement was laminate and not carpeted and the stairs were slick on a good day.

“Come on,” he mumbled to James, snagging his shirt sleeve to tug him toward the door. Summer wolf-whistled as she came back into the kitchen and Qrow’s cheeks heated. He rolled his eyes and dragged James down the stairs, unable to think of any good comebacks.

At the bottom of the stairs, James spoke. “Is everything all right? It seems a little… tense upstairs.” He hesitated as he spoke, brow furrowing. Qrow shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets, fighting the urge to drag his hands through his hair.

“It’s whatever. No one’s sleeping. Zwei’s hard to house train.” He shrugged again, still tense, and sighed. “The girls are upset I’m leaving,” he admitted, staring at the floor. “They’re not talking about it, but they are.” He remembered the conversion, the arguments, the pouting and crying from Ruby. She was _desperate_ to go with him, and it’d taken days of coaxing to get her to talk to him again.

Even now, she wasn’t really acknowledging him properly, just reacting to what he did. It was why she was reading instead of bouncing off the walls on his move out day. And probably why she’d gone upstairs instead of following them both down.

As Ruby put it, she and him had never kept secrets from each other, so hiding that he was in love with Uncle James, that they were married, that he was leaving to start _his own_ family, had sucked a lot. She’d cried. He’d cried. They’d hugged. And maybe not all was forgiven, but at least she wasn’t scowling whenever he walked into the room anymore.

Breaking a pinkie swear with a six-year-old was _not_ a good idea. No sir. And he’d done it twice in the last week. Broken promise one: promise to tell each other when we love someone, no matter the kind of love. Broke promise two: promise not to start a family without me, Uncle Qrow. I’m your family.

He’d screwed up big time. And Ruby had a long memory, especially for such a young kid.

“C’mere,” said James, pulling Qrow into a hug. “It’s not to late to stay, at least for a while longer.” His voice was soft, but gave away nothing. No regret, no fear. The flat inflection beyond that soft comfort had Qrow lost. What did James want? What did Ruby want?

What did _he_ want?

He tucked his head into the crook of James’ shoulder and sighed, tightening his arms James and sucking in a deep breath.

_Fuck._ He hadn’t let it touch him. The grief of leaving. It shouldn’t have been hard, he kept telling himself. But it was. This was his _home._ He’d come to like his role as basement uncle, even if he often felt like a failure. To leave it behind, to move onto something less honest, if more ambitious, and to betray the closeness he had with Ruby and Yang, though mostly Ruby, to go have his own kid…

It was a lot. A fucking _lot_ to deal with.

“Nah, what’s done is done,” said Qrow. He sighed again, letting all the air and tension sink out of him. “Plus, we’ve got work to do.” Qrow pulled back to grin up at James, only sort of faking it. “Can’t start a family when the dads are separated.” He winked and stepped away, stretching. It was fine. Everything was fine. It’d all pass. It always did. And he’d make it up to Ruby when he could. “C’mon. I’ve got a dozen or so boxes, plus my suitcases. Shouldn’t take long.” He turned and headed toward the boxes, only to be stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

He looked back and James levelled a concerned look at him, partially flat.

“Qrow.” His voice was firm. “Don’t do that. Don’t hide from me because you don’t want to upset me.” His hand on Qrow tensed and released. “We know each other too well for that.”

Qrow dropped his head, bangs hanging in his face. He lifted his hands, flexing them, and caught sight of his rings – engagement and marriage. The colours bled together, and he blinked at the blur in his vision.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Okay.” He managed a weak smile, this one more genuine, at James, and James returned it with a soft smile of his own.

Together, he and James gathered up the boxes and started lugging them upstairs, where Raven and Taiyang, now dressed in jeans and a shirt that said “#1 Dad. Sorry, I don’t make the rules,” moved the boxes to the front door.

The work was quick and, before long, Qrow found himself falling into the rhythm: box to the stairs, box up the stairs, box to the door. With their teamwork, it took almost no time at all to get everything ready to cross the street. The only things left in the basement were Qrow’s suitcases and a clothing bag with his favourite blanket and towels.

James hauled up his suitcase and headed up the stairs, and Qrow struggled with the odd bulk of the clothing bag. He only almost tripped once.

At the front door, Qrow found Ruby and Yang. Ruby was still reading, her brow furrowed as she sounded out words under her breath. Zwei slept on her lap. Yang sat next to Ruby, leaning over to help out when needed, her wagon waiting on the walkway, already loaded with several of the smaller boxes.

When she saw Qrow, she jumped up and grabbed her wagon handle, lifting it up and beaming at Qrow.

“Told you I could _handle_ it.” She grinned, the gap where she was missing a tooth showing.

Qrow snickered, set down the bag, and let the snicker develop into a full laugh. He shifted forward and patted her on the head, chuckling.

“Yeah, yeah you did,” he conceded. “Not bad, punawan. Not bad at all.”

Yang rolled her eyes. “You’re still not funny.” Her words were as flat as her look.

James laughed, coming up behind Qrow and setting down the suitcase. “She has a point.”

Qrow gave James a similarly flat look, pursing his lips a little before rolling his eyes.

“Jerk,” he said, shoving at James’ shoulder. James didn’t budge. Qrow pouted. Damn it. Stupid giant solid man and his metal side that made him even _solider._ More solid? Qrow didn’t know. He wasn’t an English expert.

Taiyang slipped out the door behind Qrow and James, followed quickly by Summer and Raven, and, together, the five adults and one kid (plus Ruby, who walked along, nose in her book, Zwei at her side) carted the boxes and such over to James’ house. Well, _their_ house, Qrow supposed.

…Yeah. _Their_ house. _His_ house.

…Would he have to pay part of the mortgage? Or was he just gonna be a house husband? A trophy husband? Eh, he wasn’t pretty enough for the latter. Probably needed to work on his homemaking skills for the former.

Damn. He… really didn’t have a lot to contribute to this.

…But no, that wasn’t true. He was smart, and kind, and a great uncle, so he’d probably be a good father, at least. And he was James’ oldest friend. The man he trusted with this ruse, with the dream he’d nursed close to his heart for so long. Maybe he didn’t have a job, and maybe he wasn’t pretty enough or smart enough to be the sort of high society trophy husband a guy like James might be expected to have, but he was pretty damn good at being him, if Qrow did say so himself.

And that was what mattered.

With that in mind, Qrow straightened, chest out, and strutted into the house with his boxes. The only downer to his mood was Ruby and Yang’s reactions to everything, but even that could be healed, in time. And James would help. And he was only across the street.

He could manage. Everything would be all right, in the end.

Yeah. Positive thinking. Just like Summer always said to try. And he was _positive_ that this was going to work.

It didn’t take long to get everything into the house, especially with Yang’s wagon and Ruby keeping Zwei busy. Before long, all of Qrow’s worldly possessions were piled up in James’ – and his, Qrow reminded himself – living room, and the STR gang was saying goodbye.

“You’re gonna visit every day,” said Ruby, her arms folded, and her lower lip stuck out as far as she could manage.

“I am,” he agreed.

“And you’re still my uncle before anything else.” Her lip wobbled and so did her voice.

Qrow crouched down in front of her and held out his arms. She rushed into them, hugging him tightly. “I am,” he whispered into her hair. “Love you, little rose.”

“Love you too, Unca Qrow,” she mumbled into his shirt. She sniffled and pulled back, wiping at her eyes. “Don’t let Unca James get out of line.”

Qrow let out a sharp bark of laughter and ruffled her hair, grinning. “I won’t.” He cast a teasing grin up to James, who rolled his eyes, the tips of his ears colouring. “You keep your dad in line for me, yeah?” He winked at Ruby.

She grinned. “I’ll try,” she said, with that sort of long-suffering tone that only little kids had. “But you know how he is.”

“Hey!” protested Tai. And everyone laughed.

Qrow hugged Yang, as well, who eyed James up and down and then frowned at him. Qrow blinked. That was new.

“If you hurt my uncle, I’ll slash your tires,” she said, flatly.

Qrow choked.

“Yang!” protested Summer, gasping.

Raven grinned behind one hand. Tai stared, jaw dropped.

“What?” Yang shrugged. “Vague threats are meaningless. Gotta put some punch behind them.” She punched the palm of her metal hand with her left fist, beaming. “Plus, tires are expensive.”

James blinked. “Yes, yes they are.” He shook his head. “I promise, Yang.”

“You better.” With that, she took Ruby’s hand and led her out of the house and back across the street. Tai, Summer, and Raven followed, giving hugs and goodbyes – and a wink, in Summer’s case – and then James and Qrow were alone.

“So,” said James, looking around. “I guess we should unpack.”

Qrow cleared his throat against the sudden lump. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Guess so.”

Together, the two carted the boxes labelled “bedroom” and “bathroom” upstairs.

Once there, they started unpacking, Qrow disappearing into the bathroom to tackle his soaps and stuff, and James handling his clothes.

It was a pretty good system, and, before long, Qrow fell into a decent rhythm.

A rhythm that was interrupted only by James, calling his name from the next room.

“Qrow.” At the hesitation in James’ voice, maybe confusion, maybe embarrassment, mostly odd, Qrow paused in his work. “Why is there a vibrator in this box?”

Qrow froze, dropping the shampoo bottle he was holding.

_Shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated! Like, a lot!


	7. The Sexiest Man Alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a shorter, cuter chapter that leads into the next. But it's still important, I promise.

“Um.” Qrow shuffled into the room, face bright red and a hand on the back of his neck. “I can explain?”

James rolled his eyes, his ears pink but the rest of him seemingly fine. “Honestly, Qrow, at least wrap it in a towel. Have some decency.”

Qrow blinked. _What?_ “What?” he asked, voice cracking. He cleared his throat. “You’re not…” He trailed off, unsure how to finish the sentence.

James gave him a flat look. “Or pack it with your underwear or something.” Qrow blinked a few times, trying to sort out James’ words. James flushed, presumably at the weird look Qrow was giving him, and cleared his throat, pushing the box, presumably the one with the vibrator in it, away from himself. “Qrow, you’re a single, gay man. I… well I’m not surprised.” James pushed himself to his feet and cleared his throat again. He wiped invisible dirt off his pants. “I own one or two, myself.”

Qrow broke into a wide grin. “ _You?”_ He couldn’t keep the glee out of his voice. “You’ve gotta let me see them, Jim, come on.” He slid across the room on his socks and dropped to his knees next to where James was sitting. “Please, please, please, please?” He clasped his hands together, eyes wide as he begged.

James turned even redder, if possible, and cleared his throat. “Qrow! No, that’s…” He shook his head. “If you can find them, maybe.”

“Find them, huh?” Qrow chuckled. “Now that sounds like a challenge!” He launched himself at James without much thought, landing sprawled across his lap on his belly. Qrow snagged the vibrator and rolled off James, tossing it back into his suitcase and shoving it closed. “Let’s leave that, for now. I can handle my own clothes.”

James shook his head and grabbed at Qrow’s box of books and manuals. “Fine. At least let me add these to the bookcases downstairs?”

Qrow raised an eyebrow and leaned against his suitcase. “Seriously? You wanna mix all my stuff right off?”

James furrowed his brow. “Well, of course.” He narrowed his eyes at Qrow. “Are you still concerned about all this?”

“And you’re not?” asked Qrow. He shrugged. “Seems normal to me, is all. Worrying.”

James sighed and set down the box, shuffling over a bit on the floor to put an arm around Qrow’s waist. Qrow leaned into him, half-closing his eyes. He was _tired_ , man. But that was more thinking about the future than anything else. There were a lot of roadblocks ahead of the two of them, and Qrow didn’t know a lot about the process, beyond what he’d learned from listening to James, Summer, and Taiyang in the past and over the last few months.

“When are we starting everything?” asked Qrow, tilting his head back to look up at James. James frowned. The subject change was pretty obvious, Qrow knew, but he was tired of rehashing the same shit, over and over again. There were only so many times that Qrow could ask James for reassurance about this whole… _thing_ before it got tired. He just needed to work on internalizing it, now.

“We have an appointment on Wednesday for you to meet the social worker,” said James, cracking open the box. “After that, it depends on them.”

Qrow nodded and closed his eyes the rest of the way.

“How do you feel?” James’ voice was a quiet rumble against Qrow’s head, barely there but still solid in its presence. Qrow hummed and gave a noncommittal shrug. Was there any point in voicing his concerns? He didn’t know what to expect. He didn’t know how well it would go. Was he even a good candidate for adoption? Surely, he had to be, because James had come to him. But, who else could he have gone to? Tai? Legally, Tai wasn’t married, but that would have destroyed his life, and the government was already convinced he was a deadbeat dad, anyway.

Glynda? She would have _strangled_ James if he’d brought it up. They’d never been as close as James and Qrow, and Glynda’s job was… not child friendly to say the least. Considering she was a professional dominatrix and the owner of a BDSM club. …Not that Qrow knew what it was like inside. Nope, nope.

So, the agency probably would have noticed that.

That left Qrow.

But he needed to shake off those thoughts, because James had chosen him. Not because he was the only choice, not just because he was the _best_ choice, but because James wanted to share this – do this – with _him_ and him alone.

Damn anxiety. If there was a way to shut it up for good, Qrow had yet to find it and he’d been trying for the last ten years or so.

“Qrow,” James’ voice was soft, but firm. He wanted an answer.

“I’ll be fine,” said Qrow. He sat up and rubbed at his eyes, surprised at the exhaustion that clung to him, despite the early afternoon. “You know how anxiety is.”

“I do,” agreed James. He got to his feet and held out his hand to Qrow. “Come on, let’s go get something to eat. We’ll go to the burrito place you like.”

Qrow took his hand and let James pull him to his feet. “You still can’t cook worth shit, can you?”

James winced, one hand lifting to rub the back of his neck, his cheeks flushing as he ducked his head. “No,” he half mumbled.

Qrow folded his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow, mouth quirking up on one side into an amused smirk. “Strike one on the dad manifesto, Jimmy. Tai Tai’s the best cook in the house.”

James sighed, shoulders slumping, then shrugged, half-hearted. “I’ll… figure it out eventually.” He shook his head and gave another sigh. “You know how I am in the kitchen. Especially with this.” He held up his right hand and wiggled his metal digits.

Qrow entangled his fingers with James’, rubbing his thumb against the back of James’ hand. The metal was cool to the touch from advanced cooling systems, something which James had always both loved and hated. Loved, because it kept him safe from overheating and shorting out, and hated because if he was made of metal, he might as well be warm, so he wouldn’t seem as cold and dead as he looked.

It was one of the few things the two argued about, and one of the few aspects of James’ prosthetics that still bothered him. Although, Qrow knew from listening to James’ late night fears, whispered into the starry night while they sat together in the hammock in the STRQ – STR? – backyard, that James was still bothered by his prosthetics to some extent. It was why he never wore tank tops or went shirtless, why he never wore shorts, and why he kept his scars as hidden as possible from the world at large.

Qrow didn’t hold it against him, though he wished James wasn’t so bothered by it all.

The people who matter don’t mind, and the people who mind, don’t matter, or so said Dr. Seuss. An advantage to having nieces, Qrow thought, was that you learned the life lessons you oft forgot, right when you needed them most.

“Figured you’d have adapted, by now,” said Qrow, squeezing their fingers together. James looked at their hands, his gaze sliding in such a way that Qrow could track what he was focusing on – the contrast of skin and metal, the tiny nicks in Qrow’s knuckles and the burn scars he had from grease and oil burns from old diner jobs and garage work versus the surgical perfection of James’ machine created fingers, and the creases of Qrow’s skin against the perfect lines and joints of James’ white and silver hands.

“You’ve got all your senses, don’t you?” asked Qrow, though he was mostly sure he knew the answer. “What makes it so hard?”

James hesitated – a sure sign he was hiding something – and Qrow took the moment to squeeze their fingers tighter together, pushing their joined hands forward until they splayed against James’ chest. His heart beat strong and fast against their hands. Qrow met his eyes and watched, silent, soft, and without judgement.

“Fear, I suppose,” said James. He flexed his free hand, but the one at his chest remained steady, bar the slight tremble in his fingertips. For all the technology in the world, his prosthetic hand trembled just as surely as his flesh hand did, when he was nervous. Or perhaps that was the point, to mimic the original, instead of improving upon it.

Qrow watched and waited. He was good at that, from twenty plus years of being Raven’s twin.

A sigh slipped free from James’ lips, stretching out into the room until it pressed at Qrow’s chest. He kept his gaze on James, his smile soft, patient, and open.

“Sometimes I forget,” whispered James, his head drooping with his gaze. He stared at the floor. Qrow kept watching him, just in case James looked up. Just in case he needed the connection eye contact always brought. “That it’s not real. But if I were to grab a hot pan, or get grease on it, I’d feel it, of course. But…” James trailed off and grimaced. “That’s it. Ovens don’t get hot enough to melt or warp the metal. The sensors are tucked so perfectly beneath the surface that they can’t be harmed. I’d feel pain, for moments, until the metal cooled, but then… I’d be fine.”

He grimaced and shook his head. “It sounds stupid. I have an entire half of my body that can’t be burned, or scalded, or harmed in any sort of significant way. I should be grateful.”

“I think you are,” replied Qrow. He shifted, leaning forward, his head cocked to one side. “No one lives the way you do without being grateful for what they have.” He shrugged. “Couple years ago? You wouldn’t have run around in short sleeves or a button undone. Now, you wear short sleeves all the time.” Qrow cracked a smile. “You even roll up your sleeves! It’s got a business casual, sexy without trying look.”

James raised both eyebrows, his mouth twisting into an amused smile. “You think I’m sexy?” he asked, voice teasing.

With a snort, Qrow pulled his hand free and flicked at James’ nose, only for James to bat his hand away. In retaliation, Qrow batted his eyelashes at James and puckered his lips.

“Oh yeah, you’re the sexiest man I’ve ever met.” Qrow leaned forward and draped the back of his hand against his forehead. “I swoon just _thinking_ about you.”

James snort laughed, clapping a hand over his mouth to try and hide it, but it slipped out anyway. Qrow grinned in response and James smiled through his chuckling, shaking his head at Qrow.

“Come on, you, let’s get some lunch.” Qrow took James’ hand, laughing alongside him and his words, and followed him out of the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are welcome and adored!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, questions, and general gushing are very, very much appreciated.


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